Photo by Hasnain Babar on Unsplash My depression can only push me so far or it will lose its host. After all, if I die, then depression dies too. So it is in depression’s best interest to keep me alive and kicking. Even when it has me in the abyss, its focus is on keeping me up against that wall. If I cannot feel anything or envision any way forward, depression is … [Read more...] about My Depression is Waiting for Me to Say, “I Give Up”
What Should I Tell My New Therapist?
Should it just be the facts, or can I add how I am feeling? After all, it has been nearly 4 years since I was in 5 East. Almost 4 years since I faced my depression and said out loud, “I have depression.” Since then, I have dug into what depression is, how it operates, and how I can understand it better. I have read books and even took SMART Recovery training. All this … [Read more...] about What Should I Tell My New Therapist?
What’s Stopping Me from Telling the World I Have Depression?
In my mind, I should have said “I have depression” years ago. And while I have done so in this blog, I have shied away from a formal announcement. One would think that after 530 blog posts, my secret would be out. But the fact that it hasn’t has more to do with “it’s not always about you,” than about my relationship with depression. There are many groups to which I have … [Read more...] about What’s Stopping Me from Telling the World I Have Depression?
Why Am I Thinking “What Was I Thinking Anyway?”
Is it true that by thinking it so, I can be anyone I want to be? Or is it that I can be any way I want to be? Or is it that I can think anyway I want to think? So many choices and all have their merits and drawbacks. I suppose that being anyone I want to be could imply that I am thinking a certain way. Having a specific attitude would create a certain look, feel, and … [Read more...] about Why Am I Thinking “What Was I Thinking Anyway?”
Was Reducing My Wellbutrin a Good Idea?
It seemed like such a good idea when my psychiatrist and I discussed it. Reducing my daily Wellbutrin from 450 mg. to 300 mg. seemed like a no-brainer. After all, winter has been mild, and the days are getting longer. I have spent more time outside this winter than I did last winter. And I am still draped in the afterglow of traveling to Africa. During our trek up … [Read more...] about Was Reducing My Wellbutrin a Good Idea?