Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay It’s funny the stories we tell ourselves. “Fake it until you make it” has always been my motto. And I have always felt that there is more for me to do before I can say I have made it. As the head psychiatrist on 5 East asked me, “when is enough, enough?” Getting one more certification, one more set of initials after my name, … [Read more...] about I Discovered My Life with Depression is Not a Lie
I should have known better than to rush the morning so I could leave on time. After all, this trip is a mini vacation. But sleeping in until almost 7 AM, I felt like I had a lot to do to leave the house by 10 AM. The trip to the Poconos from our part of Virginia was a 6-hour drive. I still had to push a load of laundry through the dryer, pack my suitcase, grab my computer, … [Read more...] about Why Am I Obsessed with Always Being Early?
If each day was longer, I could get my entire to-do list done. And if I was more organized, I could achieve all my daily goals. At work, I still create a weekly checklist. Looking at it each day reminds me to check on certain procedures and policies. I built much white space with lines to write in things that pop up during each day at work. Often there is a list of things to … [Read more...] about Why Can’t I Do Everything with My Depression Being Quiet?
Photo by Nico Smit on Unsplash My depression has exclusivity in my life. Try as I might to invite others in to share my life, in the end, I find ways to stay distant. Even when I initiate the friendship or professional relationship, in the end, I find ways to stay distant from them. And even when I stay involved, my depression is still working to keep me separate from … [Read more...] about Why Won’t Depression Let Professional Help In?
Depression told me it was an innocent slip, but I’m sure it was Freudian. I was sitting in the small office of my gym, re-registering. We were talking about getting back and without being asked, I volunteered that I had stopped because of Covid. This was true in a way, but it was not the real reason I stopped going. I stopped going to the gym because I had been in 5 East … [Read more...] about Now Back at The Gym, I Used Covid Instead of Depression for Why I Left