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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

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Suicide & Self-Harm

For 1062 Days, I Have Posted Thoughts About My Depression Every 2.196 Days

February 26, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

In the past 1030 Days, I have posted my thoughts every 2.196 days as I journal my way to understanding my depression

I don’t say this to brag. In some respects, I wish I had never started writing this blog. It all started the day after I checked out of 5 East. I had made the decision in the previous 4 days that I was going to face my depression head-on. This meant I would never again run from it. Even more important, I was not going to sweep it under the rug and pretend that it never … [Read more...] about For 1062 Days, I Have Posted Thoughts About My Depression Every 2.196 Days

What Makes You Think I Would Choose Concealed Depression?

February 14, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

What makes you think I would chose concealed depression as the way I want to live my life? I want to be stronger than that.

Stigma is the first thing that comes to mind. Second, I am always surprised when I learn someone else has the same concerns about sharing their concealed whatever. And seeing Jill's admission that she sometimes opened up to a boss leads me to believe she is one of the bravest people I have ever read about. I am not at all comfortable about sharing my high-functioning … [Read more...] about What Makes You Think I Would Choose Concealed Depression?

With Depression, Am I Ready To Tell the Truth to My Psychiatrist? – Part I

September 9, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Am I Ready to Tell The Truth to My Psychiatrist?

High-functioning depression, that’s me. I can fake it like the best of them. Hiding my true feelings is an art form for me. There are so many ways I can tell you “I’m fine, I'm excited, I’m darn glad to be here.” In some ways, this is always true. Being anywhere is always preferable to the alternative. But being myself in every situation is difficult. And letting … [Read more...] about With Depression, Am I Ready To Tell the Truth to My Psychiatrist? – Part I

Having Survivor’s Guilt About Depression, Is It OK To Feel OK?

August 26, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I worry abour survivors guilt and wonder if it is OK to Feel OK?

Suddenly, I am back to thinking about survivor’s guilt. Having survived my hospitalization for Major Depressive Disorder, I am moving forward. Using the tools I discovered over the past 28 months, I am finding myself equipped to address depression’s ideas. And depression still has ideas. It wants me to come out and play. It misses our time together. Depression has had to … [Read more...] about Having Survivor’s Guilt About Depression, Is It OK To Feel OK?

What Am I Worried About, It’s Just the World?

August 18, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

My depression has me thinking unhelpful thoughts

I am all over the place today, but If you read to the end, I finally get out what I’m thinking.Authors Note Our heatwave on the east coast is mild compared to the temperatures recorded on the west coast. And we have been spared raging wildfires like the ones consuming thousand and thousands of acres in the northwest. A few days of afternoon thunderstorms, some with damaging … [Read more...] about What Am I Worried About, It’s Just the World?

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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