Photo by Hasnain Babar on Unsplash My depression can only push me so far or it will lose its host. After all, if I die, then depression dies too. So it is in depression’s best interest to keep me alive and kicking. Even when it has me in the abyss, its focus is on keeping me up against that wall. If I cannot feel anything or envision any way forward, depression is … [Read more...] about My Depression is Waiting for Me to Say, “I Give Up”
Suicide & Self-Harm
Why Am I Thinking “What Was I Thinking Anyway?”
Is it true that by thinking it so, I can be anyone I want to be? Or is it that I can be any way I want to be? Or is it that I can think anyway I want to think? So many choices and all have their merits and drawbacks. I suppose that being anyone I want to be could imply that I am thinking a certain way. Having a specific attitude would create a certain look, feel, and … [Read more...] about Why Am I Thinking “What Was I Thinking Anyway?”
Where Has My Emotion Of Joy Gone?
I have experienced all of the other emotions over the past 40 months. Having been introduced to the change triangle by a therapist. I now refer to it, but I don’t always think about it, even when it would be most helpful. Anyway, here it is again in case you haven’t seen it in my earlier blog posts. I have spent a lot of time in sadness. We are on a first-name basis. … [Read more...] about Where Has My Emotion Of Joy Gone?
Is My Depression Keeping Me from The Finish Line?
Or as I am surmising, there is no finish line. But for certain activities, or events, there is a conclusion. Then why is it I feel as if it is never ending, and I am always one step from completing the challenge? Days turn into nights. The day ends and the night begins. This is very basic stuff. So why am I having trouble visualizing me crossing the finish line for my own … [Read more...] about Is My Depression Keeping Me from The Finish Line?
Stigma Has Kept Me From “Coming Out” With My Depression
If I weren't still dragging around the fear of what they might say, I would openly use my 500th blog post to email this letter to my friends and family. Dear Friend, I suffer from depression. (1) My life with depression started before I was 19, and depression has been a factor in most of my life’s decisions, both small and large. I do not say this to excuse my … [Read more...] about Stigma Has Kept Me From “Coming Out” With My Depression