The story of my life facing depression head-on; after only 62 years of ignoring it, never calling it by name, hiding it from everyone including myself, and sweeping the crumbs of each episode under the rug each time it was over, as I walked away never looking back. I am putting my thoughts together in what may become a book. But before I start: This will not be a book … [Read more...] about Why “I Have Depression, Depression Does Not Have Me “
Suicide & Self-Harm
Will Depression Let Me Make Money?
As I approach five hundred blog posts over the past 3 years, I am thinking about the future. When I started writing, it was therapy. And it still is. There are many issues that I face living with depression. Many of these are subtle and have taken me time to identify. And then I mull them over, write about them, and then mull over those thoughts. And then I often write more … [Read more...] about Will Depression Let Me Make Money?
The Lie the Disease Told Her Was So Convincing
-- Ashley Judd revealed her mother Naomi Judd died by suicide I am so saddened by this news. Regardless of your politics, when you know someone who died by suicide, it is very personal. Having followed her and her daughter’s career as The Judds, I know the story shared by the two. And I have heard the story shared by the tabloids. And back story or not, nothing … [Read more...] about The Lie the Disease Told Her Was So Convincing
With Depression, I Feel Survivors Guilt for People I Do Not Know
I have felt guilty for being alive before. When someone I had been to group sessions with took his life, I felt very guilty to still be alive. The shock of his decision was more than I could handle at that moment. So, I jumped to feeling guilty that it was not me. And then there is the shame of not doing something, anything. Not that I could have. While we were in a … [Read more...] about With Depression, I Feel Survivors Guilt for People I Do Not Know
Why Can’t I Just Make It Easy And Stop Facing My Depression?
Facing my depression, and saying it's name out loud, has been work. Sometimes the work has been exhausting. It has only been easy on rare occasions. Most of the time some effort is required on my part to call out depression’s antics and to work through an alternative that doesn’t involve unhelpful thinking. Yet in the past, time travel worked. I was able to ruminate … [Read more...] about Why Can’t I Just Make It Easy And Stop Facing My Depression?