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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

End Child Anxiety

Time Travel

Why “I Have Depression, Depression Does Not Have Me “

May 24, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

Why I have depression, depression does not have me is going to be my book about my life with depression and the positive lessons learned.

The story of my life facing depression head-on; after only 62 years of ignoring it, never calling it by name, hiding it from everyone including myself, and sweeping the crumbs of each episode under the rug each time it was over, as I walked away never looking back. I am putting my thoughts together in what may become a book. But before I start: This will not be a book … [Read more...] about Why “I Have Depression, Depression Does Not Have Me “

Why Am I Alone Again While My Depression is Winning?

May 4, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Depression has me feeling alone I push away everyone who is helping me including my therapist, peer support and mentors

From the 20,000-foot view, I can see patterns. As I move away from the abyss, I reach out to friends, family, and passers-by.  I am more comfortable speaking with others and garnering opinions about this or that. I am much more able to seek out others as I work on projects. While not gregarious, I am more open and talkative. But as depression works its magic, I begin … [Read more...] about Why Am I Alone Again While My Depression is Winning?

Is It Really Just Me Changing My Attitude?

April 6, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I know that I cannot control events, but I can control my attitude towards them.

Making changes in my attitude towards events should be easy. The power goes out at the house. I can cry about it, saying things like, “well that’s just great, now I cannot work on the computer.” Or, I can say, “power out? No problem, because I have the generator on the porch and I can run the refrigerator, a light, the TV, and the internet. And by running the plugs a certain … [Read more...] about Is It Really Just Me Changing My Attitude?

Was It My Depression or Did I Really Do That?

April 5, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

I want to blame my depression for the decisions I have made over the past 40 years

Looks like I am shoulding all over myself this morning. I find myself looking at past opportunities that I have squandered and not fully taken advantage of. Of course, I am focusing on what I remember as big, earthshattering occurrences, the likes of which I may never see again. So already I have hit three unhelpful thinking styles. All or Nothing, Time Travel, and … [Read more...] about Was It My Depression or Did I Really Do That?

Why Can’t I Just Make It Easy And Stop Facing My Depression?

March 12, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Why can't I just stop facing my depression? It was so much easier when I wasn't doing all the work to face my depression

Facing my depression, and saying it's name out loud, has been work. Sometimes the work has been exhausting. It has only been easy on rare occasions. Most of the time some effort is required on my part to call out depression’s antics and to work through an alternative that doesn’t involve unhelpful thinking. Yet in the past, time travel worked. I was able to ruminate … [Read more...] about Why Can’t I Just Make It Easy And Stop Facing My Depression?

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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  • I Feel So Guilty for Not Doing More Today
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