I don’t like it, but I cannot seem to stop depression from doing it. Despite my depression, there are parts of most days where I am in love. I am especially in love when I am thinking about her. And there are moments when we are together that are special. We play board games together on the back deck and take walks around the property with our dog. These are the times I … [Read more...] about My Depression Has Me Falling in and Out of Love
Time Travel
Joy Has Been Elusive for Years, But I May Have Found It Again
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash Joy is one emotion that has been missing over the past 4 or 5 years. Not days, or weeks, but years. That’s a long time. 365 days times 4 years equals 1,465 days. Five years is that plus 365. And for much of that time, I did not even know I was not experiencing joy. I was happy if I experienced any emotion. And yes, that included the … [Read more...] about Joy Has Been Elusive for Years, But I May Have Found It Again
Why I Say That I Am No Longer Evergreen
Photo by Kayla Warner on Unsplash Another post about my lifelong struggle to face major depressive disorder (concealed depression) They say you always remember your first time. Well with my `depression, that is not true. For me, major moments stand out, including what I came to call “my lost year.” But most of my depression, up until 4 years ago, is one big blur. In … [Read more...] about Why I Say That I Am No Longer Evergreen
Until 4 Years Ago, I Never Called My Depression By Name
I’m Joel and I have Major Depressive Disorder. This short video gives a snapshot of what I am up against. I have learned one amazing thing about myself. Most of what I worry about never happens. I will time-travel into the future and imagine all kinds of trouble. But as the event plays out, the trouble never appears. My depression throws out some form of unhelpful thinking … [Read more...] about Until 4 Years Ago, I Never Called My Depression By Name
I Should Ask Better Questions So I’m Not a Fortune-Teller
In fact, I should be asking questions especially if I am sure of the answer. My recent experiences have led me to believe that taking people at face value is not always helpful. Over the years, I have always initially treated someone the way I would like to be treated. Some people would say I respect you. I expect you to do the right thing until you don’t. Then my … [Read more...] about I Should Ask Better Questions So I’m Not a Fortune-Teller
