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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

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Archives for December 2021

I Made It Through Another Day and It Was Good

December 28, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I made it through another day without depression's unhelpful thinking styles and I am thankful.

It was supposed to be a family dinner for my son and daughter-in-law. It turned out Covid reared its ugly head, and they could not drive down from up north. Now, this did not mean that the family dinner was canceled. It only meant that the Christmas presents for those two would not get opened last night. Dinner was a success. Everyone arrived on time and brought the … [Read more...] about I Made It Through Another Day and It Was Good

My Trying LED Light Therapy Is Making Depression Mad

December 27, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss 2 Comments

Why is depression mad that I am trying light therapy to reduce the winter blues?

My psychiatrist mentioned light therapy for SAD during my last medication management session. This year I realized back in early November that the days were getting markedly shorter. By 5 PM, if it was overcast outside, the sky was almost black. And the days just before Winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, seemed exceedingly devoid of light. Now we are 6 days on … [Read more...] about My Trying LED Light Therapy Is Making Depression Mad

Merry Christmas: I’m Awake, But My Feelings Didn’t Make It

December 25, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

It's Christmas morning and I am awake and ready, but my feelings about the day are not going to be here

It’s 7:35 AM on Christmas morning; I’m up and have been for over an hour. We drove 1 ½ hour to visit my father-in-law on Christmas Eve. Both of my wife’s sisters were there, along with one’s fiancé. The pre-dinner treats were delicious and the bone-in rib roast with vegetables was very tasty. My wife brought gluten-free dinner rolls that melted in your mouth. My … [Read more...] about Merry Christmas: I’m Awake, But My Feelings Didn’t Make It

T’was The Night Before Christmas and Covid Appeared

December 24, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Twas the night before Christmas and Covid apperaed, turning a close family gathering into a long distance Zoom call

It wasn’t me or a family member who tested positive for Covid-19. But the aftermath had the same result. Our Christmas gathering will be smaller. My son and his wife had planned to come down for a few days, beginning Christmas afternoon. We had planned an evening of Christmas dinner and presents around the tree. I even checked the bromine in the hot tub to make sure it was … [Read more...] about T’was The Night Before Christmas and Covid Appeared

Depression Is Sad I Am Looking Forward to Christmas

December 20, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Depression is sad that I am looking forward to the holidays instead of letting depression decide how I will feel

This year, I am in control of how I view Christmas. When depression is in charge, I have given over to it my ability to choose how I feel. During these times, I have let depression tell me how I should feel. And then I go along with that very obediently. I do not want to upset depression and it makes sure that I know that. Depression wants me to be secretive and not share … [Read more...] about Depression Is Sad I Am Looking Forward to Christmas

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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