Photo by freestocks on Unsplash
How is that possible?
My pharmacy can get 300 mg Wellbutrin XL but cannot get the 150 mg tablets until September. They are just not available. Again, how is this possible? I have checked the internet, a bit, but have not found a reason why the 150 mg dose is currently unavailable.
But I did find a reason why I should NOT be using a pill cutter to split the 300 mg Wellbutrin XL into two 150 mg doses.
You should swallow Wellbutrin SR or XL tablets whole. Do not crush, cut, or chew them. If you do, you’ll receive the medication too quickly. That can result in serious side effects such as seizures.
Healthline
I did split a weeks’ worth of the 300 mg Wellbutrin XL tablets using a pill cutter but stopped after that.
And thankfully, I did not have any seizures as a result of the cutting of the medicine. I am certain that the warning not to cut the tablets is in the three full fine print pages of instructions. However, I never saw this. And it never dawned on me to question cutting them in half.
I stopped not because of the warning, but because I was too lazy to cut the pills in half.
And, after a full week of just the 300 mg dose, I did not notice a difference in how I was feeling. This is actually the exciting part. Last fall, I asked my psychiatrist about cutting back to 300 mg. of Wellbutrin XL. She was in favor of it. She did say that if it didn’t work out as I had hoped, I could return to the 450 mg daily dose.
Last fall, I felt a big difference after reducing my daily dose and it wasn’t pleasant.
So, I returned to the 450 mg dose. This summer, being throttled back to 300 mg daily has been a cake walk. I have not noticed any difference in how I feel. Going into this summer, I have been getting outside more. And I have projects in the orchard, the garden, and around the property. All of this has kept me out in the sun and fresh air much longer than last year.
My perception is that my depression is taking a summer holiday.
I have written several blog posts in the past month or so remarking on this. My reaction to this is to question where depression has gone. I am used to looking over my shoulder, to see where my depression is. Often, I am looking at my actions or my intended actions to see what depression has to say.
In the past 5 years, there have been few occasions where my depression has not been a force to be dealt with.
Yet here I am, thinking I may be depression free. Or at least I feel my depression is on holiday. I picture my depression sitting on a beach chair in the sand. The blue waves from the Caribbean are softly lapping around its feet. And my depression is sipping a fruity alcoholic beverage. It must push the little umbrella out of the way each time it takes a sip.
As fun as this may be for my depression, I admit I am feeling a bit jealous.
And lonely. The past 5 years, each day has begun and ended with my thinking about my depression. Typically, I am thinking “what’s my depression up to today?†So, as I think about what my depression is up to today, I do not see it anywhere around.
It seems I should be dancing for joy, instead of feeling sad that I am alone, without my depression.
After all, I have repeated my SMART RECOVERY mantra, “I want to live a balanced life with my depression.†Having depression on holiday has me off kilter and not feeling at all balanced. A holiday should make it easy to feel balanced.
But here I am looking for my depression like I have lost an old friend.
I cannot understand why I am not letting go of my depression. I could spend the rest of the summer thinking of my grandchildren, my children, my wife, and even myself. But instead, I am checking out the pros and cons of cutting my 300 mg Wellbutrin XL tablets in half. And, then I am using the information I just found to justify why I had stopped cutting the pills in half.
There are 8 more weeks of summer.
I need to get on with it and assume depression will not be in the picture until at least October. But even then, I am planning a 4-day trek in the Grand Canyon (rim to rim) in the middle of October. It will be my warmup to Mount Everest. Everest base camp is planned for next year. In between, I’d love to see the Great Wall of China and the Terracotta Warriors.
I want to get to China before we make them angry and US citizens are no longer welcome.
So that’s what’s going on today. I am going to use my day off to get my laundry done. Maybe later, my wife and I will play board games. And I keep putting off cleaning up and organizing my home office. Plus, I want to use the tractor to level out an area around the fire pit. Right now, to sit in a lawn chair, I end up running a 4 X 4 under the front legs of the chairs to make them kind of level.
I’m doing ok with only 300 mg of Wellbutrin XL every day.
This leaves nothing else to steer my focus away from the summer. The list of projects above is not all inclusive and grows almost daily. My depression is off on holiday, and I am free to enjoy the summer with all it has to offer.
