What would I do? How would I think? What would I spend my time doing? Firstly, I need to factor in my diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. Figuring out how to manage it has been my #1 focus for 4 ½ years. I still learn things every day about tools that will continue to give me an edge. And in that time, I have, with help, navigated different … [Read more...] about What Would Make Me the Happiest?
Archives for August 2023
Photo by Cerys Lowe on Unsplash If the rock was like the one that pushed me to the hospital, I’m not sure I would be here. That morning, the rock was so massive and the hill so steep, I couldn’t imagine how I was going to move it. Just the thought of pushing against it was impossible to think about. Everything was numb, and the rock was there staring at me. It felt … [Read more...] about I’m Still Pushing That Rock Up the Same Hill
I don’t like it, but I cannot seem to stop depression from doing it. Despite my depression, there are parts of most days where I am in love. I am especially in love when I am thinking about her. And there are moments when we are together that are special. We play board games together on the back deck and take walks around the property with our dog. These are the times I … [Read more...] about My Depression Has Me Falling in and Out of Love
What do you want out of life? For me, it's a balanced life with my depression. For others, it’s personal improvement. We’d like to lose weight, become stronger and more physically able. Maybe we’d like to achieve something in the world of sports, by winning a race or even running in one. And for a lot of us, our goals have to do with our jobs. We want a coveted position, … [Read more...] about 5 Steps for Using Visualization to Get What You Want in Life
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash Joy is one emotion that has been missing over the past 4 or 5 years. Not days, or weeks, but years. That’s a long time. 365 days times 4 years equals 1,465 days. Five years is that plus 365. And for much of that time, I did not even know I was not experiencing joy. I was happy if I experienced any emotion. And yes, that included the … [Read more...] about Joy Has Been Elusive for Years, But I May Have Found It Again