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Change Triangle

It’s A New Year; Am I Ready?

January 1, 2025 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Unsplash2025 has got to be better than 2024Last year, I lost my Mother, and my wife lost her father. Even though both were in their 90s, the finality of it is still hard to comprehend. And my adult children lost the two grandparents that they had grown up with.The full year was just a mess.Even knowing my mother was 96, going on 97 was no conciliation. In the last weeks of … [Read more...] about It’s A New Year; Am I Ready?

What Makes Me Choose to Live with Depression?

December 17, 2024 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Photo by Marten Bjork on UnsplashChoosing not to live with depression is, for me, choosing suicide.Because of my family history, I see that I either learn to face depression and live with it, or check out. And my one instance of contemplating checking out occurred almost 50 years ago. Since then, I have understood that I am more afraid of death than I am of living with … [Read more...] about What Makes Me Choose to Live with Depression?

Summers Here, So Where Is My Depression?

June 16, 2024 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Summer is here, why do I worry that my depression seems to be on vacation.

Photo by David Vives on Unsplash I’m still stuck on being alone for the summer, with my depression on vacation.After being so determined to get my depression out in the open, why am I sad that it has taken a holiday? I should be doing back flips and alerting the media. Depression’s absence should be a celebration. I have been working on this for 5 years.And yet, I miss the … [Read more...] about Summers Here, So Where Is My Depression?

Why Depression Is My Lifelong Companion

April 19, 2024 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Depression is my life long companion

Photo by Florian Klauer on UnsplashDepression has been with me my entire life. I am drafting the story of my life facing depression head on; after only 62 years of ignoring it, of never calling it by name, hiding it from everyone including myself, and sweeping the crumbs of every episode under the rug each time it was over, as I walked away never looking back.If I had … [Read more...] about Why Depression Is My Lifelong Companion

Joy Has Been Elusive for Years, But I May Have Found It Again

August 4, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

joy has finally become an emotion I experience after spending years with fear, and inhibitory emotions I see on the change triangle

Photo by Tim Mossholder on UnsplashJoy is one emotion that has been missing over the past 4 or 5 years.Not days, or weeks, but years. That’s a long time. 365 days times 4 years equals 1,465 days. Five years is that plus 365. And for much of that time, I did not even know I was not experiencing joy. I was happy if I experienced any emotion.And yes, that included the emotion of … [Read more...] about Joy Has Been Elusive for Years, But I May Have Found It Again

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Joel Natl Career Fair Bio Pic he's using for my concealed depressionHello, I am Joel Quas 

In April 2019, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. By writing things out, I am learning more about my relationship with depression. 

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