Why am I stuck in this loop of sameness? As I begin writing, I realize this is not the first time I have written about this. My mind has been stuck in a painful, unproductive loop before. And how to jump-start a new, more productive loop is where I am now. READ: Will everyday be the same? Last night, after getting home from work, I had a small meal. By 11 PM, I … [Read more...] about Same Stuff, Just A Different Day
Archives for May 2020
But I really want to care. Somehow, I need to jump-start my recovery again. All I seem to do is to be going sideways. I am not allowing myself to be honest about what is going on inside me. This puts me back to being “evergreen,” not letting my depression show. I do this at a great cost to myself. So, I am beginning to see how much damage depression can cause when I … [Read more...] about I Do Not Give A Hoot Today
Just because you called me, I don’t have to pick up the phone. Or why do you assume I will open the letter, just because you thought it was important enough to send? I see the letter you sent me; it is on my desk where I keep all my new correspondence. But receiving it and doing something with it are two different things. Your needs are not the same as my needs. In a … [Read more...] about Why Am I Pulling Back into My Shell?
Or maybe I am still on it, but I am not driving it? Whatever it is, it feels unproductive. I’ve read a lot of articles recently by medical professionals who say it is OK to feel anxious right now. Afterall, pandemics have not come around too often. So, they say don’ beat yourself up if you feel anxious. But for me, having an out if you will, lets me off the … [Read more...] about Have I Fallen Off the Recovery Wagon?
Today has been much like most recent days. Certain topics are not on my radar. I am clunking around in a daze, hoping that the answer to why I am feeling blah will pull me aside and reveal itself to me. Why is life so empty? Why can’t I get it together? Where is the piece I am missing and how do I get it? I hit every single stoplight on my way to my doctor’s appointment … [Read more...] about I Am Tired Of Being Tired – Part II