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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

Turnaround

Stress and Anxiety

Is My Anxiety Because I Am Still Unpacking from Africa?

January 28, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Is my anxiety from not cleaning up completely from my trip to Africa?

It’s the age-old dilemma, which came first? Am I feeling anxiety and unsettled because I am still unpacking, cleaning, and putting away my climbing clothing and gear from my trip to Africa? Or is it the baskets of washed clothes, my boots, and my down jacket still clogging up the laundry room that make me feel large amounts of anxiety? Either way, things in my home office … [Read more...] about Is My Anxiety Because I Am Still Unpacking from Africa?

Am I Able to Be Happier, to Feel Joy?

January 24, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I wish I could say yes to joy, to being happier. There are many emotions I am familiar with, but joy and happiness are rarely one of them. OK is the operative word. If someone asks how I am doing, I stretch the truth and say that I am “darn glad to be here.” Now while that isn’t a lie, it is often far from my real expectations. I am familiar with the change triangle and … [Read more...] about Am I Able to Be Happier, to Feel Joy?

Why Can’t I Get Joy into My Head?

December 9, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

It’s seems such an easy thing, for everyone has an idea of what their own joy looks like. So why is it I cannot feel the emotion? Instead, I play defense and do anything I can to avoid joy. Joy is a risk. And suddenly I cannot figure out a way to take a risk. I’ve got depression on the run, or at least sitting in the back row. Why chance depression’s return by taking a … [Read more...] about Why Can’t I Get Joy into My Head?

What Makes Self-Care Keep Evolving?

November 9, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

why self-care is changing my depression

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash It still amazes me that I am allowed to take care of myself. The whole idea of putting on one’s own oxygen mask before helping others has been foreign to me. Or should I say that in the past it has been foreign. Recently, I have made a concerted effort to include my own needs in my plans. This can be seen in my attitude towards things I … [Read more...] about What Makes Self-Care Keep Evolving?

Is Anxiety the Reason I Can’t Let This Go?

November 2, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Is my anxiety the reason I cannot let this go or is my attitude preventing me from changing anxiety into something useful?

It’s that gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. The feeling that should stop when the event is over. But mine hasn’t gotten the message. A trigger comes and goes. I know I should feel anxious when the event is taking place. But after it, I should be able to relax. And that is just not happening. This morning, we returned the rental car. Because we arrived right at … [Read more...] about Is Anxiety the Reason I Can’t Let This Go?

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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  • Depressed? Why I Hadn’t Considered Myself as Having Depression
  • If Only I Felt Happy, Maybe I Could Be Happy
  • Is My Anxiety Because I Am Still Unpacking from Africa?
  • Am I Able to Be Happier, to Feel Joy?
  • What Made Depression Almost Keep Me From Summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro?

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