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I know for a fact that something is going on in my body today.
So, I was up about 1:30 AM this morning, and everything was fine. I went to the bathroom and climbed back into bed, Then I was up again at 5:00 AM. This is not unusual. I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in years. And getting my medication adjusted to make things more normal seems to be an on-going activity.
As I went to get up, I knew that things were not quite right.
First, I noticed that I was a bit dizzy. This wasn’t too odd, that dizzy feeling sometimes jumps out if I get up too fast. However, these days, the dizzy spells are few and far between. But again, it was something I have had before. ‘
What was different was the nausea.
I hadn’t expected that. This feeling of nausea seemed better if I didn’t move my head quickly. And it helped to not look away or down towards my feet. Ridged, fixed focus, with minimal movements made getting to the bathroom possible. Luckily, I only need to walk a few feet and I am at the door to the bathroom.
So, after relieving myself and washing my hands, I went back to bed.
Sliding between the covers, I was glad we had added an extra blanket. We sleep with a window open, so the room can get quite cold by the end of the night. And having a heated waterbed below me is another way we stay warm in the winter.
The dizzy, nausea, edgy feelings subsided, and I found I could rollover without feeling worse.
In fact, the feelings rapidly subsided and I was able to get back to sleep rather quickly. So, other than the feelings I had when I was up, getting back in bed and falling asleep was what I normally do. But when I got up at 7 AM, the dizzy, nauseous, edgy feelings returned.
It is now some 10 hours later, and I still am having these feelings.
Probably more alarming is that my blood pressure has spiked abnormally high. I am usually 128 to 132 over 78 to 70. AT 9:30 AM, It was almost 160 over 80 something. In an hour it was down somewhat closer to normal, but my blood pressure has been elevated off and on for the past week. My blood pressure cuff has been acting up, so all of this may be related to faulty equipment.
But I am now considering how these feelings began around the time that I began taking a different prescription to shrink my prostrate.
A year ago, my GP prescribed Flomax, to help my bathroom visits get back to normal. But the side effects of that were evident within days. We agreed that I would stop taking it and return to OTC Saw Palmetto. This over-the-counter supplement has had some effect but has not returned things to normal. So, this year we are trying a 5mg, Proscar.
Additionally, my psychiatrist added an additional anti depression medication. 50mg of Desyrel, I am taking at bedtime.
Besides the anti-depression component, the drug is supposed to help me fall asleep and stay asleep. Thinking back about the last 30 days. I realize that this medication is not producing any consistent, solid sleep. Some nights, I do skip one wake up time, but the two hours after I go to bed never fails me.
Even when I have been very careful not to drink anything liquid after 6:30 PM, I still wake up very consistently after 2 hours in bed.
If you bet on me getting up after the two hours in bed, you’d be a consistent winner. And now that I think of it, adding this new drug has not increased my ability to fall asleep quickly and to stay asleep through the night. I am still awake after 2 hours, 4 hours, 5 and ½ hours, The next time I wake up, I get up for the day.
I should probably let my psychiatrist know about how my body is, or in this case is not reacting to the additional medication.
And then the possible drug interaction needs to be considered. I think that my GP is aware of the additional medication my psychiatrist has me taking. But now I am second guessing what he knows. Did I update my list of medications? I had put everything I was taking in a cloth bag and took it to my last appointment.
Feb 6 was the date for my annual physical.
The nurse who checked me in went through my list of medications, with me pulling each out of the bag as she got to it. I am pretty sure that I was already taking the second depression medicine at night, but this week, I will make certain he knows. And I will make sure that my psychiatrist knows about the prostrate medication I just started.
I have a pull-out drawer in the bathroom filled with expired prescriptions.
Some are from medications I no longer take, such as Remeron, and Prozac. Others were for one time use and I did not need the entire bottle to get the desired results. I had asked my pharmacist at work about the outdated prescriptions. He said CVS often will take them. Just leave them in the original bottles. I have them bagged up and ready to go.
It’s now almost 8:30 PM and I am feeling a little better.
I am still being careful about how I move and how fast I move my head. But the nausea is gone, in part because I ate dinner. But this morning, I had waffles, and the sensations did not go away. Time seems to be mending whatever was making me imbalanced. I am confident that I will be better in the morning.
Of course, that’s what my mom says when I attempt to get her to take some action about her health.
So, I come by these actions honestly. And using her example, I am obstinate at times when it comes to my own health. But I do not have a lot of experience with not feeling well. I am usually good. I haven’t been great in a long time, but I am often good. And I am still working on happy, although I am seeing calm more than I used to.
Even if I am feeling lousy, I tell others when they ask that I am fine.
Concealed or high-functioning depression teaches a person to be very positive. Even if you are not feeling positive, there is the constant need to project positiveness. And I have done this for decades. But the physical and emotional costs have taken a toll. But this skill comes in handy when someone inquires about me.
Now I am not sure if what I felt today was because of one of my medicines or it was just a down day. It turns out you can have one. I can even have a day where I don’t feel all that great. It’s OK to have a day where I just take it easy, accomplish a few small things on my list, and then give myself permission to be off the clock.
Off the clock, I don’t even know what being off the clock feels like anymore.
I have been trying, at least at work, to not rush around so much, I am always following up on something or going off to do something. Just being in a group discussing a non-work topic still makes me feel uncomfortable. I know that learning about people’s lives outside of work is important. But I like to have a little, surface information about all of my managers and employees.
Doing a deep dive by having a more in-depth conversation, is not my idea of accomplishing something.
In a few minutes, I will start getting ready for bed. My hope is that whatever was causing me to feel off my game will be gone in the morning. I don’t have to be at work until 10:00 AM. This will give me time to work out any last-minute issues. I must be well tomorrow. It’s not a day off, but a day I am scheduled to work. And I do not call out.
If I am on the schedule, I can be counted on to be at work.
Buit come Monday, I will begin to connect the dots and make sure that all of my doctors know everything I am taking. And I will listen to any ideas they might have about what caused (I hope it’s just caused, not causing) me to feel dizzy, nauseous, and edgy today.
