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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

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Mental Health

Depressed? Why I Hadn’t Considered Myself as Having Depression

February 4, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Depressed? I have not considered myself as having depression until my symptoms of depression put me in 5 east

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash I have been depressed, with high-functioning (concealed) depression for over 50 years. It wasn’t until I spent 4 days in 5 East that I faced my depression. Until then, I had gotten through each episode and never looked back. There was no critique, no sense that I should do something different. It was over so let’s just move on and … [Read more...] about Depressed? Why I Hadn’t Considered Myself as Having Depression

If Only I Felt Happy, Maybe I Could Be Happy

January 31, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

My attitude about my depression will decide how I feel about joy as an emotion, instead of depression's unhelpful thinking

Or do I need to “fake it until I make it?” I know all about attitude and how it is the only thing I have control over. But taking that information and turning it into reality is not the same thing. So how do I turn my desire for the feeling of joy, of happiness, into a reality? Over the centuries, many famous, well-known people, have used this technique to keep a positive … [Read more...] about If Only I Felt Happy, Maybe I Could Be Happy

Am I Able to Be Happier, to Feel Joy?

January 24, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I wish I could say yes to joy, to being happier. There are many emotions I am familiar with, but joy and happiness are rarely one of them. OK is the operative word. If someone asks how I am doing, I stretch the truth and say that I am “darn glad to be here.” Now while that isn’t a lie, it is often far from my real expectations. I am familiar with the change triangle and … [Read more...] about Am I Able to Be Happier, to Feel Joy?

What Made Depression Almost Keep Me From Summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro?

January 21, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Depression almost kept me from summiting mount Kilimanjaro with unhelpful, all or nothing thinking

We reached the summit in seven days, but day four almost ended my attempt. How did I think the entire trip would be rain free? What caused me to optimistically think that there would be no rain and the climb would be all monkeys and giraffes in the wild? I had looked at long-range forecasts for Tanzania, and Africa before leaving America. The website even had forecasts based … [Read more...] about What Made Depression Almost Keep Me From Summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro?

3 Years and 9 Months After Admitting Depression, I Can Say Merry Christmas

December 25, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash Seeking help in April 2019 was one of the hardest things I have ever done. And yet, had I not picked choice number three that morning, I might not be writing this. As I said before that morning, I saw only three choices: End it allKeep doing the same things I had been doing and keep expecting a different resultSeek Professional medical … [Read more...] about 3 Years and 9 Months After Admitting Depression, I Can Say Merry Christmas

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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  • Depressed? Why I Hadn’t Considered Myself as Having Depression
  • If Only I Felt Happy, Maybe I Could Be Happy
  • Is My Anxiety Because I Am Still Unpacking from Africa?
  • Am I Able to Be Happier, to Feel Joy?
  • What Made Depression Almost Keep Me From Summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro?

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