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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

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Archives for January 2020

I Don’t Often See It, but I Always Have a Choice

January 31, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss 2 Comments

Even with depression, I have a chance to make good choices

It hit me today while I was attending a group meeting. Very often the meetings are started with check-in. Each participant in the group has a chance to say how they are feeling or talk for a minute about something that is going on in their lives. Participation is not mandatory, and anyone can pass if they do not want to speak.  Lately, I've noticed, every time I … [Read more...] about I Don’t Often See It, but I Always Have a Choice

I’m Feeling Rushed Today

January 30, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Depression has me feeling rushed today

And it’s my day off from my day job, a self-care day. Yet I once again did not get up early. I used the excuse that I got in just before midnight and didn’t get to bed until almost 1 AM. But I’ve used that excuse before, saying I need to make sure I get enough sleep. Now that I write this, I see that I have flipped the equation on its head. For months, I had been … [Read more...] about I’m Feeling Rushed Today

I’m Still Breaking Up With Depression

January 29, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss 3 Comments

breaking up with depression is hard to do

It turns out it is not “one and done.” There is a lot of work in breaking up with depression.  “It’s not you, it’s me” comes to mind. I know how cliché that is, but it is a way of breaking up without trying to hurt anyone’s feelings. My goal is to keep depression out in the open where I can see what it is up to. I am afraid if I try to completely break up with … [Read more...] about I’m Still Breaking Up With Depression

Depression Wants Me to Keep Secrets Again

January 28, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

depression wants me to be secretive about who I talk to

Since I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, I have learned just how secretive depression is. And I have learned many of the sneaky trick’s depression has used with me over the past 43+ years as it kept a hold over me. The craziest part about my relationship with depression is that it always makes me feel like I am in control. Worse, the ideas are planted by … [Read more...] about Depression Wants Me to Keep Secrets Again

Today I’m Feeling Like “What’s The Point?”

January 25, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Whats the point in trying to live a balanced life when depression is always fighting against me?

My dog has a twenty-foot leash we attached to one of the front porch posts. This gives her access to a wide area of grass as we sit on the porch. And it keeps her from heading out over the mountain (which is where she got shot two years ago). She enjoys her time with us as we sit in the sun and watch birds at the feeders. But inevitably, she will wander up onto the porch … [Read more...] about Today I’m Feeling Like “What’s The Point?”

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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  • I Took a Self-Care Day and I Don’t Feel Guilty
  • I’m Gaining Weight – Can I Blame My Depression?
  • My Depression Has Me Catastrophizing Instead of Fixing My Sleep Problem
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