Photo by Alex Gray on Unsplash It’s a strange feeling—when life isn’t falling apart, exactly, but it also isn’t moving forward.Sideways is the best word I can think of for it. I’m not plummeting into crisis, but I’m not climbing toward anything either. It’s like being stuck on a moving sidewalk that keeps looping in place—motion without direction. I look around and wonder if … [Read more...] about Why My Life Is Going Sideways
Unhelpful thinking
The Time When I Was Jack Strawcastle, Master Chimney Sweep
I've been working on my book recently about my life with depression. This is a sample from one of the early chapters.I planned to open a woodstove store and not become a chimney sweep.The year was 1976 and renewable resources were becoming the newest fad. Heating with wood was in, and I wanted to be a part of that. My plan was to open a wood stove store and sell stoves with all … [Read more...] about The Time When I Was Jack Strawcastle, Master Chimney Sweep
Hurry Up And Wait
I don’t understand why things seem so hard right now.Once again, I am so close to the finish line, but I cannot get past it. I can see the end from here. I knowwhat it would feel like, how it would smell. Heck, I even know what it would taste like. But I am stuckhere, twiddling my thumbs, as I wait for something to happen.Having been in a holding pattern for a while, I’m unsure … [Read more...] about Hurry Up And Wait
STILL OK, NOT SAD, NOT MAD, JUST OK
I just left my weekly therapy appointment.As I went in, I wondered how long I have just felt OK. And how long have I been thinking about this? This must have been going on for years. And I may have made up a reason for this happening. If I did not have one, my depression would have stepped in and added its own color commentary.I first heard someone say, " It must be the … [Read more...] about STILL OK, NOT SAD, NOT MAD, JUST OK
When Do I Know What I Want?
Photo by Jason Leung on UnsplashIs it something I can share, or is it more esoteric?Am I going to write about it or am I going to spend a page or more, avoiding talking about it. Sometimes I just need to warm up my brain before I can open up about what I actually decided to write about. Ok, it’s most of the time. I almost always seem to ramble on about something, pulling out … [Read more...] about When Do I Know What I Want?
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