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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

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Archives for May 2019

It’s so depressing. Why am I still reading it?

May 31, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 3 Comments

I was loaned a copy of “I don’t want to talk about it.” It was written by Terrence Real. I have read more than half of the book now. And I am drawn like a moth to the flame.  I am getting burned, but I can’t stop reading. I feel like the book is telling me that there is a lot of pain I need to face to feel better. I'm reading that those who have never felt their own … [Read more...] about It’s so depressing. Why am I still reading it?

Did you know I have guns?

May 30, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Well, right now I don’t. What I have is an indentation in the carpet in my closet where the gun safe was. I have an empty space on my shelf in the closet where the canvas bag of ammo was. All thats left is a cloth bag with a turkey call in it and a replacement peep sight for my compound bow. But no compound bow, and no guns. The morning I walked into the hospital; my focus … [Read more...] about Did you know I have guns?

Why Do I Double-Check Before Swallowing?

May 29, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Why do I look twice? What is it about my daily Prozac that has me checking and then checking again? First, I take the plastic prescription bottle and read it. I verify that it is the Prozac, 20 mg. I read the entire label, which gives the generic name, then it says “generic for Prozac.” Once I am sure it is the correct medicine, I open the container. It should be obvious … [Read more...] about Why Do I Double-Check Before Swallowing?

Why Can’t I Open This Letter?

May 28, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 2 Comments

It came two days ago. And I have still not opened it. When I took the letter out of the mailbox, the handwriting looked familiar. After that, I noticed no return address. I was thinking, what is this all about? Did I fill out a rebate form or something? Why does this look so familiar? I’m sitting in the cab of the truck, with the window rolled down. I am at the same … [Read more...] about Why Can’t I Open This Letter?

I killed a painted turtle

May 27, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

The riding lawnmower was over the turtle before I realized what was happening. Our property is on a lake. We discovered several years ago that turtles will leave the water and crawl 100 yards or more, through the trees and bushes, to dig a hole in our yard and bury their eggs. Last year, as I was mowing, I saw what looked like a brown plastic bowl in the grass. As I got … [Read more...] about I killed a painted turtle

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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