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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

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Archives for August 2020

What Makes Me Feel Obliged to Struggle with Self-Care?

August 30, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Self-care is a way to lead a balanced life with depression

On the surface, the term self-care seems straight-forward. I Googled® the definition just to be sure my assessment of self-care was in line with general notions. Based on this definition, I feel I understand what the idea of self-care is all about. self-care /ˌselfˈker/ noun the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health. "autonomy in … [Read more...] about What Makes Me Feel Obliged to Struggle with Self-Care?

Why Am I Choosing Numb Instead of Real Feelings?

August 26, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Is it my medication that keeps me numb or am I just afraid of my feelings?

Is it my medication or am I not brave enough to explore my feelings? With 44+ years of practice, I am exceptionally good at feeling numb and blocking out my feelings. Listening to an EBT audiobook on the way to work the other day, the author said some people are overly emotional and in touch with their feelings. Others suppress their feelings and emotions like a bottle of … [Read more...] about Why Am I Choosing Numb Instead of Real Feelings?

After Getting Help for Myself, I Can Now Share with Others

August 25, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I live with depression and now I am writing to help others lead a balanced life with a mental illness

Asking for professional medical help was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I started writing the morning after I was released from the hospital. In 5 North, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, with suicidal ideation. Feeling up against the wall, seeking professional medical advice was the least hard of the three choices I felt I had. Choice #1 was to … [Read more...] about After Getting Help for Myself, I Can Now Share with Others

Learning The 3 Parts of My Change Triangle

August 21, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

The change triangle has helped me lead a balanced life with depression

The change triangle is becoming my go-to tool helping me to understand what I am feeling. Feelings. And the core emotions I have so fastidiously defended against. I spent 43+ years putting my defenses up so that I would not come in contact with my core emotions. Even now when I do this, the result is me using inhibitory emotions to block my true (core) emotions. The human … [Read more...] about Learning The 3 Parts of My Change Triangle

What it Feels Like to Not Get the Job

August 18, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I am not circling the reain just because I did not get the job

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t disappointed. Being one of three candidates for the position, there was not a huge amount of competition. And I felt I had the experience and the proven skills the position called for. So, to receive a call and be told someone else got the position was a bit of a letdown. But I am not circling the drain. READ: Three Things I … [Read more...] about What it Feels Like to Not Get the Job

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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  • I Took a Self-Care Day and I Don’t Feel Guilty
  • I’m Gaining Weight – Can I Blame My Depression?
  • My Depression Has Me Catastrophizing Instead of Fixing My Sleep Problem
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