I’ve had four or five days of positiveness. I’m not sure that is a word, but it’s how I have been feeling. Even yesterday, at work, I had the feeling that everything was going to work out. What I am thinking is that I will be able to realize my plans, and live a balanced life with my depression. The four weeks leading up to our trip to Peru did not feel like that. In … [Read more...] about Can I stay Focused?
Photo by mauro mora on Unsplash It turns out that I don’t even know when the last time was that I sat down and wrote out my thoughts and feelings. I wish I had made the time as I know that my depression is in the wings, waiting for me. I could slip up and be back near the abyss based on my lack of focus. This lack of focus is different than just not deciding about what to … [Read more...] about Is Being Too Busy to Write a Good Thing?
Photo by Cerys Lowe on Unsplash If the rock was like the one that pushed me to the hospital, I’m not sure I would be here. That morning, the rock was so massive and the hill so steep, I couldn’t imagine how I was going to move it. Just the thought of pushing against it was impossible to think about. Everything was numb, and the rock was there staring at me. It felt … [Read more...] about I’m Still Pushing That Rock Up the Same Hill
Photo by Kayla Warner on Unsplash Another post about my lifelong struggle to face major depressive disorder (concealed depression) They say you always remember your first time. Well with my `depression, that is not true. For me, major moments stand out, including what I came to call “my lost year.” But most of my depression, up until 4 years ago, is one big blur. In … [Read more...] about Why I Say That I Am No Longer Evergreen
In fact, I should be asking questions especially if I am sure of the answer. My recent experiences have led me to believe that taking people at face value is not always helpful. Over the years, I have always initially treated someone the way I would like to be treated. Some people would say I respect you. I expect you to do the right thing until you don’t. Then my … [Read more...] about I Should Ask Better Questions So I’m Not a Fortune-Teller