Photo by David Vives on Unsplash I’m still stuck on being alone for the summer, with my depression on vacation.After being so determined to get my depression out in the open, why am I sad that it has taken a holiday? I should be doing back flips and alerting the media. Depression’s absence should be a celebration. I have been working on this for 5 years.And yet, I miss the … [Read more...] about Summers Here, So Where Is My Depression?
Time Travel
The First Rule of Depression Is Never Talk About Depression
From my 2022 blog post: Now I have committed myself (no pun intended) to learning everything I can about depression. I have chosen to face it, to keep it from helping me back into unhelpful thinking. Every day I am learning new things about depression and how it works on the mind and body.Read my original May 4, 2022, blog postIt is June 3 of 2024.I was thinking this morning I … [Read more...] about The First Rule of Depression Is Never Talk About Depression
I Don’t Know Why I Am Still Trying
Photo by Brett Jordan on UnsplashMaking forward progress feels like it’s not a thing right now.Today, keeping my head above water is my primary goal. The process of moving forward seems labored and just outside of my grasp. This morning, I am wondering how I managed to fake it for so long. There’s no way I have really been getting things done. Any visible forward progress is … [Read more...] about I Don’t Know Why I Am Still Trying
Is Being Too Busy to Write a Good Thing?
Photo by mauro mora on UnsplashIt turns out that I don’t even know when the last time was that I sat down and wrote out my thoughts and feelings.I wish I had made the time as I know that my depression is in the wings, waiting for me. I could slip up and be back near the abyss based on my lack of focus. This lack of focus is different than just not deciding about what to do … [Read more...] about Is Being Too Busy to Write a Good Thing?
I’m Still Pushing That Rock Up the Same Hill
Photo by Cerys Lowe on UnsplashIf the rock was like the one that pushed me to the hospital, I’m not sure I would be here.That morning, the rock was so massive and the hill so steep, I couldn’t imagine how I was going to move it. Just the thought of pushing against it was impossible to think about. Everything was numb, and the rock was there staring at me.It felt like it was … [Read more...] about I’m Still Pushing That Rock Up the Same Hill