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Green apples with smiley faces symbolizing concealed depression.

My Concealed Depression

Archives for July 2022

Did Depression Make Me Forget?

July 27, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss

I had an idea about depression, but I do not remember it today

Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash Last night, it seemed like a logical question to ask. I began to ponder it and play out the ramifications in my head. There must have been a reason why I did not write it down. I try to save ideas such as what inspired me so I can ponder them later. I'm like a cow grazing the grass, then later chewing its cud. Why didn’t I write … [Read more...] about Did Depression Make Me Forget?

Having Coffee on The Porch and Not Going to The Gym Is My Self-care Today

July 23, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss

Self-care this morning is sitting on the porch with a cup of coffeee,

Photo by Avi Werde on Unsplash I feel guilty for not going to the gym this morning. Checking my app, I can see I have gone 4 out of 5 days this week. And I have been up since 6 AM this morning. When I got up, I had every intention of getting to the gym before preparing for work. I know it’s Saturday, but retail demands a non 9 to 5, Monday to Friday schedule. So, I am … [Read more...] about Having Coffee on The Porch and Not Going to The Gym Is My Self-care Today

Why Won’t Depression Let Professional Help In?

July 20, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss

Depression is not letting professional help stay in my life, or is my depression making me push away professional help?

Photo by Nico Smit on Unsplash My depression has exclusivity in my life. Try as I might to invite others in to share my life, in the end, I find ways to stay distant. Even when I initiate the friendship or professional relationship, in the end, I find ways to stay distant from them. And even when I stay involved, my depression is still working to keep me separate from … [Read more...] about Why Won’t Depression Let Professional Help In?

My Attitude Is Being Controlled By Depression

July 19, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss

Inspirational quote urging passion in work and life.

After my days on 5 East, I was certain depression would not be in charge of my attitude ever again. Well, that feeling came to me months after my 4 days there. Being alone with the staff, I was still very much up against the wall, and the fact that I had finally taken a different action and gotten a different response was still sinking in. Leading a balanced life with … [Read more...] about My Attitude Is Being Controlled By Depression

I Don’t Have Time for This

July 15, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss

I have to much to do today to think about self-care

It’s called a day off for a reason. However, for me, it is a race to get everything done in the 15 hours I will be awake. I focus on the day part, a day without going to work. But I completely ignore the OFF part. I have already been up an hour and 10 minutes. And I have: Checked my email from work (even though I am off)Took my medication, washed my face, and did other … [Read more...] about I Don’t Have Time for This

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Joel Natl Career Fair Bio Pic he's using for my concealed depressionHello, I am Joel Quas 

In April 2019, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. By writing things out, I am learning more about my relationship with depression. 

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The US has a a new 988 system that grabs location, not just area code.
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  • My Depression Wants to Know Why I Am Retiring
  • I Look Fine. I’m Not. Here’s What You Don’t See.
  • What High-Functioning (Concealed) Depression Really Looks Like
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