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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

Turnaround

Sleep Issues

Am I Able to Be Happier, to Feel Joy?

January 24, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I wish I could say yes to joy, to being happier. There are many emotions I am familiar with, but joy and happiness are rarely one of them. OK is the operative word. If someone asks how I am doing, I stretch the truth and say that I am “darn glad to be here.” Now while that isn’t a lie, it is often far from my real expectations. I am familiar with the change triangle and … [Read more...] about Am I Able to Be Happier, to Feel Joy?

Depression Won’t Let Me Make the Call

April 11, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I'm afraid to call my peer support and depression is making me feel guilty and ashamed for not being strong enough to make the call.

I haven’t spoken to my peer support contact in over 2 weeks. In fact, I have been ignoring her calls, letting them go to voice mail. It’s not that I do not want to talk to her. She has been one of my most ardent supporters for the past three years. Her observations have helped me understand my medication choices. And she has given me the confidence to speak up for … [Read more...] about Depression Won’t Let Me Make the Call

It Happens Every Time My Depression Medication Is Adjusted

April 10, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

It happens every time there is a change in my medication. I have physical symptoms including trouble staying asleep.

You would think I would stop thinking that this time will be different. After three years and over a dozen changes in my medication to address my Major Depressive Disorder, I am still shocked my body doesn’t adapt instantly. My psychiatrist even reminded me last Tuesday, that there was going to be a week or so where my body would be adjusting to the new dose. Yet here I … [Read more...] about It Happens Every Time My Depression Medication Is Adjusted

Once Again It’s Bye to Prozac & Hello to More Wellbutrin

December 5, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

switching away from prozac to a higher dose of Wellbutrin XL is a way to help me get out of bed without depression getting involved

I can’t believe I did not remember how Prozac made me sluggish and dull in the mornings. Two months ago, I was almost 90% successful at leading a balanced life with depression. This was a huge achievement for me. The past 2 ½ years had not all been like that. In fact, much of it was at 50%, 40%, or even 7% in terms of balance in my life. And the depression that finally … [Read more...] about Once Again It’s Bye to Prozac & Hello to More Wellbutrin

With Depression, Am I Ready To Tell the Truth to My Psychiatrist? – Part I

September 9, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Am I Ready to Tell The Truth to My Psychiatrist?

High-functioning depression, that’s me. I can fake it like the best of them. Hiding my true feelings is an art form for me. There are so many ways I can tell you “I’m fine, I'm excited, I’m darn glad to be here.” In some ways, this is always true. Being anywhere is always preferable to the alternative. But being myself in every situation is difficult. And letting … [Read more...] about With Depression, Am I Ready To Tell the Truth to My Psychiatrist? – Part I

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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