Photo by Braden Collum on Unsplash So, the stars aren’t perfectly aligned for me to be a contender today. The few times they have been, depression was involved, and the outcome wasn’t pretty. My depression has this way of making things seem alright, and then it springs its trap. One second I am thinking “Life is good,” and the next I am circling the drain. Now when … [Read more...] about Would I Be a Contender If I Get Out of My Own Way?
Suicide & Self-Harm
My Depression and I Are About to Celebrate Our 4th Anniversary
Photo by Joy Memon on Unsplash Depression and I go back almost 60 years, but I have only said “I have depression” for the past four. Before that, I was all about getting the episode over so I could get back to my “regular life.” It never occurred to me that living with depression was my regular life. I was so focused on never having depression that I refused to see my … [Read more...] about My Depression and I Are About to Celebrate Our 4th Anniversary
My Depression is Waiting for Me to Say, “I Give Up”
Photo by Hasnain Babar on Unsplash My depression can only push me so far or it will lose its host. After all, if I die, then depression dies too. So it is in depression’s best interest to keep me alive and kicking. Even when it has me in the abyss, its focus is on keeping me up against that wall. If I cannot feel anything or envision any way forward, depression is … [Read more...] about My Depression is Waiting for Me to Say, “I Give Up”
Why Am I Thinking “What Was I Thinking Anyway?”
Is it true that by thinking it so, I can be anyone I want to be? Or is it that I can be any way I want to be? Or is it that I can think anyway I want to think? So many choices and all have their merits and drawbacks. I suppose that being anyone I want to be could imply that I am thinking a certain way. Having a specific attitude would create a certain look, feel, and … [Read more...] about Why Am I Thinking “What Was I Thinking Anyway?”
Where Has My Emotion Of Joy Gone?
I have experienced all of the other emotions over the past 40 months. Having been introduced to the change triangle by a therapist. I now refer to it, but I don’t always think about it, even when it would be most helpful. Anyway, here it is again in case you haven’t seen it in my earlier blog posts. I have spent a lot of time in sadness. We are on a first-name basis. … [Read more...] about Where Has My Emotion Of Joy Gone?