What finally happened when someone asked a simple question about my depression medication?
My Peer Advocate, from On Our Own, has been after me for several years to speak with her doctor about my medication.
For some reason, I had never really considered the idea.
I would say, “yeah, yeah” when she would bring it up, but then not follow up with a phone call or a Google search. I assumed that she was just saying that to have something to talk about with me. This made sense in my head, where I had it all figured out.
I guess my mind-reading and time travel were wrong.
I definitely was ready when we discussed my current situation with my medicine management.
For almost 8 years, I have been using the UVA teaching hospital to get my depression medications filled. And, because it is a teaching hospital, I get a different Psychiatric student each year.
The soon-to-be doctor meets with me at most four times.
Then it’s on to a new doctor-in-training.
In January, it was pointed out that these doctors in training were not able to see what was and what was to come.
Holly cow!
Their main focus, when you think about it, is to graduate. Their first priority is to pass and receive the title of doctor. I fall somewhere behind that objective in their minds.
And, they have zero perspective on my long-term progress, because they only have one year to devote to me.
Now I am not saying that what they are dispensing is wrong, but it doesn’t have any long-term understanding of my unique situation.
To be clear, everyone’s situation is unique and should be treated as such.
But that said, I am ready to take my first dose of Caplyta tonight just before I get in bed.
The side effects, if experienced, should abate by the end of the second week. The Doctor said I might be a little tired at first, but he thought that would help me sleep better.
I will start with a week at 21 mg, and then move to the 42mg pills.
The goal is to get me from feeling like a seven out of ten to perhaps even a ten out of ten.
I know every day will not be rainbows and unicorns, but I feel that I can do better than just being OK.
And I have been just OK for years.
I have learned that suppressing anger also dampens happy.
I made my living dealing with members who had challenges. Staying cool under intense pressure has always been a strong point for me.
However, I do not want to use that as an excuse for not being in touch with my feelings.
Learning that started much earlier, well before my retail days.
Families share a lot, and often it is a mixed message.
Or worse, it becomes a way of life that plays out generation to generation.
I am thinking that I really sat down to write more about my second antidepressant medication.
The doctor’s office is over an hour away.
Heck, you must drive over Afton Mountain in order to get to his office from Stanardsville.
Once the initial period is over, if things are going well (and I for one vote for it working very well), I will find out about virtual meetings via ZOOM.
I will revisit this in a couple of weeks and let you know how it is going.
Maybe by then, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the best, I will be a TEN.
