Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash I have been depressed, with high-functioning (concealed) depression for over 50 years. It wasn’t until I spent 4 days in 5 East that I faced my depression. Until then, I had gotten through each episode and never looked back. There was no critique, no sense that I should do something different. It was over so let’s just move on and … [Read more...] about Depressed? Why I Hadn’t Considered Myself as Having Depression
concealed depression
Is My Anxiety Because I Am Still Unpacking from Africa?
It’s the age-old dilemma, which came first? Am I feeling anxiety and unsettled because I am still unpacking, cleaning, and putting away my climbing clothing and gear from my trip to Africa? Or is it the baskets of washed clothes, my boots, and my down jacket still clogging up the laundry room that make me feel large amounts of anxiety? Either way, things in my home office … [Read more...] about Is My Anxiety Because I Am Still Unpacking from Africa?
3 Years and 9 Months After Admitting Depression, I Can Say Merry Christmas
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash Seeking help in April 2019 was one of the hardest things I have ever done. And yet, had I not picked choice number three that morning, I might not be writing this. As I said before that morning, I saw only three choices: End it allKeep doing the same things I had been doing and keep expecting a different resultSeek Professional medical … [Read more...] about 3 Years and 9 Months After Admitting Depression, I Can Say Merry Christmas
What I Learned Having Skin Cancer Removed from My Face
Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash The first thing I learned is you cannot hide the results of skin cancer removal. For the first 48 hours, I had a huge bandage on my face that covered the surgical crater left from Moh’s surgery. I had instructions, not to bathe or get the bandage wet in any way. The nurse covered to an area with petroleum jelly and covered … [Read more...] about What I Learned Having Skin Cancer Removed from My Face
Why Can’t I Get Joy into My Head?
It’s seems such an easy thing, for everyone has an idea of what their own joy looks like. So why is it I cannot feel the emotion? Instead, I play defense and do anything I can to avoid joy. Joy is a risk. And suddenly I cannot figure out a way to take a risk. I’ve got depression on the run, or at least sitting in the back row. Why chance depression’s return by taking a … [Read more...] about Why Can’t I Get Joy into My Head?