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Green apples with smiley faces symbolizing concealed depression.

My Concealed Depression

Archives for January 2023

If Only I Felt Happy, Maybe I Could Be Happy

January 31, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss

My attitude about my depression will decide how I feel about joy as an emotion, instead of depression's unhelpful thinking

Or do I need to “fake it until I make it?” I know all about attitude and how it is the only thing I have control over. But taking that information and turning it into reality is not the same thing. So how do I turn my desire for the feeling of joy, of happiness, into a reality? Over the centuries, many famous, well-known people, have used this technique to keep a positive … [Read more...] about If Only I Felt Happy, Maybe I Could Be Happy

Is My Anxiety Because I Am Still Unpacking from Africa?

January 28, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss

Is my anxiety from not cleaning up completely from my trip to Africa?

It’s the age-old dilemma, which came first? Am I feeling anxiety and unsettled because I am still unpacking, cleaning, and putting away my climbing clothing and gear from my trip to Africa? Or is it the baskets of washed clothes, my boots, and my down jacket still clogging up the laundry room that make me feel large amounts of anxiety? Either way, things in my home office … [Read more...] about Is My Anxiety Because I Am Still Unpacking from Africa?

Am I Able to Be Happier, to Feel Joy?

January 24, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss

Colorful hand-painted wooden signs spelling JOY in a garden.

I wish I could say yes to joy, to being happier. There are many emotions I am familiar with, but joy and happiness are rarely one of them. OK is the operative word. If someone asks how I am doing, I stretch the truth and say that I am “darn glad to be here.” Now while that isn’t a lie, it is often far from my real expectations. I am familiar with the change triangle and … [Read more...] about Am I Able to Be Happier, to Feel Joy?

What Made Depression Almost Keep Me From Summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro?

January 21, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss

Depression almost kept me from summiting mount Kilimanjaro with unhelpful, all or nothing thinking

We reached the summit in seven days, but day four almost ended my attempt. How did I think the entire trip would be rain free? What caused me to optimistically think that there would be no rain and the climb would be all monkeys and giraffes in the wild? I had looked at long-range forecasts for Tanzania, and Africa before leaving America. The website even had forecasts based … [Read more...] about What Made Depression Almost Keep Me From Summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro?

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Joel Natl Career Fair Bio Pic he's using for my concealed depressionHello, I am Joel Quas 

In April 2019, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. By writing things out, I am learning more about my relationship with depression. 

Joel’s Next Book

The US has a a new 988 system that grabs location, not just area code.
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