A time to remember the lives lost to suicide, the millions who have struggled with suicidal thoughts & the individuals, families, and communities that have been impacted. Today I am standing up and am proud to be one of the millions who have struggled with suicidal thoughts. I know that sounds backwards, but I say proud for two reasons. The first and most important … [Read more...] about September marks #SuicidePreventionMonth
Photo by mauro mora on Unsplash It turns out that I don’t even know when the last time was that I sat down and wrote out my thoughts and feelings. I wish I had made the time as I know that my depression is in the wings, waiting for me. I could slip up and be back near the abyss based on my lack of focus. This lack of focus is different than just not deciding about what to … [Read more...] about Is Being Too Busy to Write a Good Thing?
What would I do? How would I think? What would I spend my time doing? Firstly, I need to factor in my diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. Figuring out how to manage it has been my #1 focus for 4 ½ years. I still learn things every day about tools that will continue to give me an edge. And in that time, I have, with help, navigated different … [Read more...] about What Would Make Me the Happiest?
Photo by Cerys Lowe on Unsplash If the rock was like the one that pushed me to the hospital, I’m not sure I would be here. That morning, the rock was so massive and the hill so steep, I couldn’t imagine how I was going to move it. Just the thought of pushing against it was impossible to think about. Everything was numb, and the rock was there staring at me. It felt … [Read more...] about I’m Still Pushing That Rock Up the Same Hill
I don’t like it, but I cannot seem to stop depression from doing it. Despite my depression, there are parts of most days where I am in love. I am especially in love when I am thinking about her. And there are moments when we are together that are special. We play board games together on the back deck and take walks around the property with our dog. These are the times I … [Read more...] about My Depression Has Me Falling in and Out of Love