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Green apples with smiley faces symbolizing concealed depression.

My Concealed Depression

You are here: Home / Depression / How to Push Rock Up Hill

How to Push Rock Up Hill

March 19, 2024 by Depression Is Not My Boss

I push rock up hill every day and my depression often make the rock and the hill look ominous.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

How to Push Rock Up Hill, it’s not a good thing when the best reference you can find is on Wikipedia.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

For other uses, see Sisyphus (disambiguation).

Not to be confused with Syphilis.

Persephone supervising Sisyphus in the Underworld, Attic black-figure amphora, c. 530 BC, Staatliche Antikensammlungen[1]

In Greek mythology, Sisyphus or Sisyphos (/ˈsɪsɪfəs/; Ancient Greek: Σίσυφος Sísyphos) was the founder and king of Ephyra (now known as Corinth). He was a devious tyrant who killed visitors to show off his power. This violation of the sacred hospitality tradition greatly angered the gods. They punished him for trickery of others, including his cheating death twice. The gods forced him to roll an immense boulder up a hill only for it to roll back down every time it neared the top, repeating this action for eternity. Through the classical influence on modern culture, tasks that are both laborious and futile are therefore described as Sisyphean (/sɪsɪˈfiːən/).[2]

It turns out there are books related to how to push rock up hill.

Yet most readers do not understand the rock or the hill. It is always important to know how to do something. Especially how to do something right. And to push rock up hill is a real thing. And the ways people do it amaze me.

Most people are pushing a rock and don’t even know it.

Some cannot see the hill and only see the rock. Others see the hill and cannot see the rock they are pushing. In fact, many people will not see either piece, even as both are destroying them. At the end of the day, we all have obstacles, hills. And we have tasks we need to complete, push a rock.

In the end, push rock up hill can describe how most of us live.

For example, I want to do something simple, like ride a bicycle. Sounds like there should be nothing to that. Afterall isn’t there a quote about remembering how to ride a bike? But the bike becomes a rock. The hill can be a real hill. Or it could be in your head. Do I really remember? Can I do this in front of my 4-year-old? Are the brakes the same as the bike I rode growing up?

Suddenly, there are a host of hills to push rock up.

And we are mostly oblivious to them. We are so task oriented that we cannot see what the rock represents. Even if we have an idea, we are too busy justifying the thing we are doing. I know people want to do things right, and choose projects, rocks, which will benefit the greater good.

Many professions help society as a whole.

Firefighters, doctors, even our trash collectors provide valuable services to the community. The rocks they push are ours. We raise these people up and give them power over our actions. If you do not place your trash can by the road before the collector comes, your trash will not be picked up. Your rock will not be where the garbage collector can push it up the hill (empty it).

In this 2008 Journal Article, in the Journal of Women’s History, I found:

SHOULD WOMEN VOTE

Author: Ewing E, Thomas; Gumbert, Heather; Hicks, David; Nelson, Amy, Stephens, Robert P; Lehr, Jane

Read entire article at digitalcommonCalpoly.edu    

Abstract: 13 July 1910, the English humor magazine Punch published a cartoon depicting a woman pushing a rock labeled “Women’s Suffrage” up a steep hillside labeled “Parliament (Figure 1).” A caption under the picture exclaims “Excelsior!” It is followed by this statement: Suffragist: “It’s no good talking to me about Sisyphus; he was only a man!” The well–dressed woman pushes the rock in a pose suggesting strength, while she gazes directly at the viewer with a determined look on her face. The landscape behind her fades into distant mountains and clouds, leaving no means to judge whether she is approaching the summit.1 A brilliant device for teaching about women’s suffrage, this cartoon provides numerous access points for engaging students in discussion and analysis. The cartoon visually illustrates the central issue: could suffrage advocates persuade Parliament to alter voting statutes? This conflict is illustrated by the determination of the suffragists (symbolized by the woman pushing the boulder up the hill) and the resistance created by Parliament (that is, the force required to push this boulder against gravity up a seemingly unconquerable slope). At the same time, the caption, with its ironic statement (“he was only a man”), validates the larger claim of the suffrage movement that women were not just proving their rights as citizens, but also demonstrating their superior moral and ethical standards. The references embedded in the cartoon thus provoke a more in–depth analysis of multiple meanings. Contemporary students are likely to have some familiarity with the myth of Sisyphus, who was punished for his cleverness by spending eternity in Tartarus pushing a rock up a mountain only to have it fall to the bottom, forcing him to begin all over again.

In this paper, the rock Is “Women’s Suffrage,” and the hill is “Parliament.”

The original work is from 1910, long before many citizens were able to vote. This takes the whole idea of push rock up hill to new levels. The idea of women voting in 1910 was so distant and seemingly impossible to Parliament, composed of men. So, you have push rock up hill representing voting rights in Britian.

I stand by my thought that most people do not understand push rock up hill.

Those who see the connection to the world around them are few. Seeing rocks in everyday events is easy once you stop and think about it. Every event you have planned has some obstacle associated with it. This could be as simple as arriving on time. Or it could be breaking the 4-minute mile world record. The point is, we do this rock uphill thing all the time.

Now imagine starting the day with a mental illness, push rock up hill suddenly gets harder.

Envision the rock as a massive boulder. Now see the hill as a steep slope, that in places is almost vertical. Did I mention that this crag is extremely tall? The summit is so far away that the clouds mask its exact whereabouts. Even as I write this, I cannot imagine that this was me.

But almost 5 years ago, it was me, and I ended up in 5 East for 4 days.

This experience led me to think about push rock up hill. It fits in with my new understanding of depression and how it and I have a life together. Familial traits passed down, giving me a life-long dose of major depressive disorder, with suicidal ideation.

Now I never thought of myself as the guy who would “off” himself.

And only once did I get parts of it together. This happened 46 years ago. For the past 46 years, I have a clean record. This whole life ending thing is really just another rock. But you probably already knew that. And the hill becomes the decision about what will happen next. All this seemed pretty obscure until I ran into the work of Frank King.

Frank says what I think and stands up while I and others remain sitting.

Learn more about Frank King, Suicide Prevention Speaker – Motivational Speaker here: 

Celebrities are coming forward with their stories including Winnona Judd and the Rock. My biggest challenge in speaking out is stigma. It has always seemed to me that celebrities could “Get away with it.” The reality is I am proud of their courage. And I want to be like them when I grow up.

It looks like I’d better grow up soon, I’m running out of daylight.

Push rock up hill is a daily event for me. In group sessions at On Our Own, I hear first-hand the challenges each person their faces each day. Yet they show up regardless of how they feel. To me, they are true heroes. They deserve not to face stigma in the workplace, or from friends, family, and neighbors.

Their personal push rock up hill stories are astonishing.

 They have conquered themselves and made a commitment to being in a group every day. They demonstrate, to me, what it takes to get the rock moving. Knowing the hill is there, they still get up, get dressed and by bus, car, Uber, or walking, they make their presence know each day.

Spend some time at On Our Own in Charlottesville, and you will see they know how to push rock up hill.

Filed Under: Depression, Facts and myths about mental illness, Featured Home, Guilt and Shame, Mental Health, My Depression, On Our Own, C'Ville, Self Care, Suicide & Self-Harm, Unhelpful thinking Tagged With: depression, depression and anxiety, Frank King, mental health, mental health awareness, push rock up hill, unhealthy thinking styles, Unhelpful thinking

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In April 2019, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. By writing things out, I am learning more about my relationship with depression. 

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