[ I just sent this to my siblings, wife, children, nieces, and nephews. My goal is to update them on my relationship with my depression and alert them to my second retirement.] I began getting a paycheck before I was ten. I kind of fudged my birthday so I could deliver the Montgomery County Sentinel newspaper once a week. The newspaper said I must be ten. I was going to … [Read more...] about My Depression Wants to Know Why I Am Retiring
depression is not my boss
My 70th birthday is coming, and the hardest question isn’t about cake — it’s learning how to choose what I really want for myself.
It’s me again. I’ve been off for a few weeks, and I need to write again. I wish I didn't feel like doo-doo. I’m certain that having a severe cold is not making me feel any better. It came on about 72 hours ago. I spent Saturday traveling from the bed to the couch, and then back to the bed. There are a bunch of things on my to-do list for today. Getting my laundry done … [Read more...] about My 70th birthday is coming, and the hardest question isn’t about cake — it’s learning how to choose what I really want for myself.
My Depression Says The Holidays Are Here, So Why Am I Not Happier?
Roxana Zerni UNSPLASH My depression is glad that I am sad and not happier. It gets to think that it is doing its job. Sewing seeds of doubt in myself and my actions is a key part of its MO. Once my depression gets me second-guessing myself, the journey down the rabbit hole has begun. This will lead to me being up against the wall with no discernable way forward. And it … [Read more...] about My Depression Says The Holidays Are Here, So Why Am I Not Happier?
What Makes Me Choose to Live with Depression?
Photo by Marten Bjork on Unsplash Choosing not to live with depression is, for me, choosing suicide. Because of my family history, I see that I either learn to face depression and live with it, or check out. And my one instance of contemplating checking out occurred almost 50 years ago. Since then, I have understood that I am more afraid of death than I am of living with … [Read more...] about What Makes Me Choose to Live with Depression?
There’s a Lot Going On, So Is Being OK, OK?
Unsplash I am amazed at the changes the last month has brought. A month ago, I had just returned from trekking in the Grand Canyon. Things were better than OK, the family was great, and I had just booked a flight up north for Thanksgiving. Work was good, and I was getting to use the wood stove some mornings to take the chill out of the living room. And then stuff hit … [Read more...] about There’s a Lot Going On, So Is Being OK, OK?
