Photo by Alvaro Reyes on Unsplash If I think I want or need something, shouldn’t that be enough? Yet here I am negotiating with myself over what I want. Even after a lifetime of making my own choices, I am stuck between my ideas and depression. Now it is possible that my depression has allowed me a few “wins.” You know, just enough to keep me in the game. My … [Read more...] about Why Must My Depression Decide What I Really Want or Need?
Photo by Hasnain Babar on Unsplash My depression can only push me so far or it will lose its host. After all, if I die, then depression dies too. So it is in depression’s best interest to keep me alive and kicking. Even when it has me in the abyss, its focus is on keeping me up against that wall. If I cannot feel anything or envision any way forward, depression is … [Read more...] about My Depression is Waiting for Me to Say, “I Give Up”
Depression helped me retire the first time, making a cluster of the entire experience. My depression convinced me to scrap over 40 years of planning and jump into retirement with only a sketchy idea of what I was going to do. Now the upside was I finally had off on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. We flew north for an entire week around Thanksgiving. But the nuts … [Read more...] about Will Depression Return if I Retire Again?
Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash I have been depressed, with high-functioning (concealed) depression for over 50 years. It wasn’t until I spent 4 days in 5 East that I faced my depression. Until then, I had gotten through each episode and never looked back. There was no critique, no sense that I should do something different. It was over so let’s just move on and … [Read more...] about Depressed? Why I Hadn’t Considered Myself as Having Depression
Or do I need to “fake it until I make it?” I know all about attitude and how it is the only thing I have control over. But taking that information and turning it into reality is not the same thing. So how do I turn my desire for the feeling of joy, of happiness, into a reality? Over the centuries, many famous, well-known people, have used this technique to keep a positive … [Read more...] about If Only I Felt Happy, Maybe I Could Be Happy