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Green apples with smiley faces symbolizing concealed depression.

My Concealed Depression

Archives for December 2021

My Depression Operates in The Smallest Spaces

December 18, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss

mydepression works in the smallest of places to pull me back towards the abyss

Before I began learning about how depression works, all I knew were my spectacular crashes. As I thought back on my life, I could clearly see four major episodes that my depression exacerbated. These were times when I was circling the drain, was up against the wall, and could not see any way forward. To an outsider, I can only imagine how that must have looked. But for … [Read more...] about My Depression Operates in The Smallest Spaces

10 More Shopping Days Until Christmas And Self-Care Is Gone

December 15, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss

with 10 shopping days until christmas, my self care is forgotten

It feels as if I have been going non-stop since the week of Thanksgiving. Maybe it is the time of year. Or I am just forgetting to include self-care in my day. Have I given up on self-care to accommodate everyone else’s needs? And worse than all of that, I do not see the situation changing until New Year’s Day. My dance card isn't … [Read more...] about 10 More Shopping Days Until Christmas And Self-Care Is Gone

The 10 Things I Just Cannot Do, Part II*

December 7, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss

Depression uses unhelpful thinking styles to keep me from shaking it's grip on my mind, thoughts, and actions

*Update December 7, 2021 As I reread my list, I can see where I have made progress and where I still need to work. The reality is I will always need to work on at least one of the 10 unhelpful thinking styles. Living with depression means first acknowledging that I have it. And then quickly I say, “I have depression, depression does not have … [Read more...] about The 10 Things I Just Cannot Do, Part II*

Once Again It’s Bye to Prozac & Hello to More Wellbutrin

December 5, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss

switching away from prozac to a higher dose of Wellbutrin XL is a way to help me get out of bed without depression getting involved

I can’t believe I did not remember how Prozac made me sluggish and dull in the mornings. Two months ago, I was almost 90% successful at leading a balanced life with depression. This was a huge achievement for me. The past 2 ½ years had not all been like that. In fact, much of it was at 50%, 40%, or even 7% in terms of balance in my … [Read more...] about Once Again It’s Bye to Prozac & Hello to More Wellbutrin

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Joel Natl Career Fair Bio Pic he's using for my concealed depressionHello, I am Joel Quas 

In April 2019, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. By writing things out, I am learning more about my relationship with depression. 

Joel’s Next Book

The US has a a new 988 system that grabs location, not just area code.
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