I was loaned a copy of “I don’t want to talk about it.” It was written by Terrence Real. I have read more than half of the book now. And I am drawn like a moth to the flame. I am getting burned, but I can’t stop reading. I feel like the book is telling me that there is a lot of pain I need to face to feel better. I'm reading that those who have never felt their own … [Read more...] about It’s so depressing. Why am I still reading it?
hope
Why Do I Double-Check Before Swallowing?
Why do I look twice? What is it about my daily Prozac that has me checking and then checking again? First, I take the plastic prescription bottle and read it. I verify that it is the Prozac, 20 mg. I read the entire label, which gives the generic name, then it says “generic for Prozac.” Once I am sure it is the correct medicine, I open the container. It should be obvious … [Read more...] about Why Do I Double-Check Before Swallowing?
Why Can’t I Open This Letter?
It came two days ago. And I have still not opened it. When I took the letter out of the mailbox, the handwriting looked familiar. After that, I noticed no return address. I was thinking, what is this all about? Did I fill out a rebate form or something? Why does this look so familiar? I’m sitting in the cab of the truck, with the window rolled down. I am at the same … [Read more...] about Why Can’t I Open This Letter?
I killed a painted turtle
The riding lawnmower was over the turtle before I realized what was happening. Our property is on a lake. We discovered several years ago that turtles will leave the water and crawl 100 yards or more, through the trees and bushes, to dig a hole in our yard and bury their eggs. Last year, as I was mowing, I saw what looked like a brown plastic bowl in the grass. As I got … [Read more...] about I killed a painted turtle
Could I have been someone else?
“I coulda been a contender.” That’s how I am feeling today. Concealing my depression from myself has cost me in ways I am just beginning to understand. The choices I have made, the paths taken and not taken, can be linked back to depression. Not that I am using that as an excuse. I accept and live with the decisions I have made. And I am not jealous of people who … [Read more...] about Could I have been someone else?