Photo by Alvaro Reyes on Unsplash If I think I want or need something, shouldn’t that be enough? Yet here I am negotiating with myself over what I want. Even after a lifetime of making my own choices, I am stuck between my ideas and depression. Now it is possible that my depression has allowed me a few “wins.” You know, just enough to keep me in the game. My … [Read more...] about Why Must My Depression Decide What I Really Want or Need?
depression
I Learned Something About Working with Others Today
Photo by Sivani Bandaru on Unsplash It appears that I am very bad at it. I would like to think that I have a knack for working with others and inspiring them to do their absolute best. And often this is true. Most of the managers, supervisors, and employees that report to me seem to get my ideas and execute them. Perhaps it’s because I treat them the way I would want to … [Read more...] about I Learned Something About Working with Others Today
Was it Depression’s Fault I Did Not Meet My New Therapist Last Night?
It wasn’t that I didn’t have an appointment. And it wasn’t for inattention on my part. Or at least it felt that way to me. I called my employer's Care network. And I answered all their questions. They wanted to know if I preferred a male or a female therapist. I explained that I have worked with both. All I want is someone who I can talk with and possibly connect … [Read more...] about Was it Depression’s Fault I Did Not Meet My New Therapist Last Night?
My Depression is Waiting for Me to Say, “I Give Up”
Photo by Hasnain Babar on Unsplash My depression can only push me so far or it will lose its host. After all, if I die, then depression dies too. So it is in depression’s best interest to keep me alive and kicking. Even when it has me in the abyss, its focus is on keeping me up against that wall. If I cannot feel anything or envision any way forward, depression is … [Read more...] about My Depression is Waiting for Me to Say, “I Give Up”
What Should I Tell My New Therapist?
Should it just be the facts, or can I add how I am feeling? After all, it has been nearly 4 years since I was in 5 East. Almost 4 years since I faced my depression and said out loud, “I have depression.” Since then, I have dug into what depression is, how it operates, and how I can understand it better. I have read books and even took SMART Recovery training. All this … [Read more...] about What Should I Tell My New Therapist?