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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

End Child Anxiety

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How will I know depression is coming again?

June 2, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

How can I stay out of the depths of despair? How can I recognize what’s going on in my head before I become obsessed with one idea, one thought, one depression guided way of thinking? I think the first thing is to acknowledge that I have depression. “But it doesn’t have me.” I am doing that every day. I am learning everything I can about how it works and how it has gotten me … [Read more...] about How will I know depression is coming again?

Did you know I have guns?

May 30, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Well, right now I don’t. What I have is an indentation in the carpet in my closet where the gun safe was. I have an empty space on my shelf in the closet where the canvas bag of ammo was. All thats left is a cloth bag with a turkey call in it and a replacement peep sight for my compound bow. But no compound bow, and no guns. The morning I walked into the hospital; my focus … [Read more...] about Did you know I have guns?

Why Do I Double-Check Before Swallowing?

May 29, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Why do I look twice? What is it about my daily Prozac that has me checking and then checking again? First, I take the plastic prescription bottle and read it. I verify that it is the Prozac, 20 mg. I read the entire label, which gives the generic name, then it says “generic for Prozac.” Once I am sure it is the correct medicine, I open the container. It should be obvious … [Read more...] about Why Do I Double-Check Before Swallowing?

I killed a painted turtle

May 27, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

The riding lawnmower was over the turtle before I realized what was happening. Our property is on a lake. We discovered several years ago that turtles will leave the water and crawl 100 yards or more, through the trees and bushes, to dig a hole in our yard and bury their eggs. Last year, as I was mowing, I saw what looked like a brown plastic bowl in the grass. As I got … [Read more...] about I killed a painted turtle

How do I tell people I have depression? Or should I?

May 23, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

I have been struggling with how to share what my life has been like for the past four weeks. There are friends, relatives, and business associates that I want to tell. My dilemma is how to tell them, how much to tell them when to tell them. Is my need to tell them a way to justify my behavior? I’m telling myself it is a noble thing to do, to alert others who may have these … [Read more...] about How do I tell people I have depression? Or should I?

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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  • I Feel So Guilty for Not Doing More Today
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  • I’m Gaining Weight – Can I Blame My Depression?
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