It wasn’t me or a family member who tested positive for Covid-19. But the aftermath had the same result. Our Christmas gathering will be smaller. My son and his wife had planned to come down for a few days, beginning Christmas afternoon. We had planned an evening of Christmas dinner and presents around the tree. I even checked the bromine in the hot tub to make sure it was … [Read more...] about T’was The Night Before Christmas and Covid Appeared
unhelpful thinking styles
Depression Is Sad I Am Looking Forward to Christmas
This year, I am in control of how I view Christmas. When depression is in charge, I have given over to it my ability to choose how I feel. During these times, I have let depression tell me how I should feel. And then I go along with that very obediently. I do not want to upset depression and it makes sure that I know that. Depression wants me to be secretive and not share … [Read more...] about Depression Is Sad I Am Looking Forward to Christmas
My Depression Operates in The Smallest Spaces
Before I began learning about how depression works, all I knew were my spectacular crashes. As I thought back on my life, I could clearly see four major episodes that my depression exacerbated. These were times when I was circling the drain, was up against the wall, and could not see any way forward. To an outsider, I can only imagine how that must have looked. But for … [Read more...] about My Depression Operates in The Smallest Spaces
The 10 Things I Just Cannot Do, Part II*
*Update December 7, 2021 As I reread my list, I can see where I have made progress and where I still need to work. The reality is I will always need to work on at least one of the 10 unhelpful thinking styles. Living with depression means first acknowledging that I have it. And then quickly I say, “I have depression, depression does not have me.” And most days now, this … [Read more...] about The 10 Things I Just Cannot Do, Part II*
I’m Happy Depression Wasn’t At My Birthday Party
In recent years, depression has been a big part of my birthday. To call it a birthday celebration would be wrong. From my perspective, there was no celebration involved. It was just a day to get through. And I did it by pulling together my high-functioning depression skills. I have honed this skill over many decades and can turn it on now, at will. But using my … [Read more...] about I’m Happy Depression Wasn’t At My Birthday Party