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I’m Still Pushing That Rock Up the Same Hill

August 12, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Today I am pushing a rock up a hill, but my depression isn't bad, so the hill and rock are small.

Photo by Cerys Lowe on Unsplash If the rock was like the one that pushed me to the hospital, I’m not sure I would be here. That morning, the rock was so massive and the hill so steep, I couldn’t imagine how I was going to move it. Just the thought of pushing against it was impossible to think about. Everything was numb, and the rock was there staring at me. It felt … [Read more...] about I’m Still Pushing That Rock Up the Same Hill

My Depression Has Me Falling in and Out of Love

August 11, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I don’t like it, but I cannot seem to stop depression from doing it. Despite my depression, there are parts of most days where I am in love. I am especially in love when I am thinking about her. And there are moments when we are together that are special. We play board games together on the back deck and take walks around the property with our dog. These are the times I … [Read more...] about My Depression Has Me Falling in and Out of Love

5 Steps for Using Visualization to Get What You Want in Life

August 7, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

5 steps fot using visualization to CHIEVE YOUR GOALS AND REDUCE ANXIETY AND FEELINGS OF DEPRESSION

What do you want out of life? For me, it's a balanced life with my depression. For others, it’s personal improvement. We’d like to lose weight, become stronger and more physically able. Maybe we’d like to achieve something in the world of sports, by winning a race or even running in one. And for a lot of us, our goals have to do with our jobs. We want a coveted position, … [Read more...] about 5 Steps for Using Visualization to Get What You Want in Life

Joy Has Been Elusive for Years, But I May Have Found It Again

August 4, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

joy has finally become an emotion I experience after spending years with fear, and inhibitory emotions I see on the change triangle

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash Joy is one emotion that has been missing over the past 4 or 5 years. Not days, or weeks, but years. That’s a long time. 365 days times 4 years equals 1,465 days. Five years is that plus 365. And for much of that time, I did not even know I was not experiencing joy. I was happy if I experienced any emotion. And yes, that included the … [Read more...] about Joy Has Been Elusive for Years, But I May Have Found It Again

Side Effects Be Damned, Now I’m Taking 30 mg of Remeron

July 23, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

The Inca Trail to Machu Pichu

Photo by Jacqueline Munguía on Unsplash This new development is not exactly what I had envisioned when I got up this morning. Well, I guess this is not what my Peer Advocate had envisioned. She had expected my psychiatrist to switch me to Abilify, or one of the two other similar medications. So instead of taking 30 mg of Remeron, I would replace that with a dose of … [Read more...] about Side Effects Be Damned, Now I’m Taking 30 mg of Remeron

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder. As I meet others with mental illness, they often tell me they feel alone.

With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to let others know you are not alone. Others are going through the same things.

And I write to share what I am learning so you and I can lead a balanced life.

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