Before I began learning about how depression works, all I knew were my spectacular crashes. As I thought back on my life, I could clearly see four major episodes that my depression exacerbated. These were times when I was circling the drain, was up against the wall, and could not see any way forward. To an outsider, I can only imagine how that must have looked. But for … [Read more...] about My Depression Operates in The Smallest Spaces
depression
The 10 Things I Just Cannot Do, Part II*
*Update December 7, 2021 As I reread my list, I can see where I have made progress and where I still need to work. The reality is I will always need to work on at least one of the 10 unhelpful thinking styles. Living with depression means first acknowledging that I have it. And then quickly I say, “I have depression, depression does not have me.” And most days now, this … [Read more...] about The 10 Things I Just Cannot Do, Part II*
Once Again It’s Bye to Prozac & Hello to More Wellbutrin
I can’t believe I did not remember how Prozac made me sluggish and dull in the mornings. Two months ago, I was almost 90% successful at leading a balanced life with depression. This was a huge achievement for me. The past 2 ½ years had not all been like that. In fact, much of it was at 50%, 40%, or even 7% in terms of balance in my life. And the depression that finally … [Read more...] about Once Again It’s Bye to Prozac & Hello to More Wellbutrin
I’m Happy Depression Wasn’t At My Birthday Party
In recent years, depression has been a big part of my birthday. To call it a birthday celebration would be wrong. From my perspective, there was no celebration involved. It was just a day to get through. And I did it by pulling together my high-functioning depression skills. I have honed this skill over many decades and can turn it on now, at will. But using my … [Read more...] about I’m Happy Depression Wasn’t At My Birthday Party
Singing to Music As I Drive Gives Me Too Much Time to Think
I imagine the artists would be flattered to hear I get lost in their music. And in and of itself, that is not a bad thing. But what I have found happening in the past few weeks is a song triggers a memory. The memory is often pleasant, but many times it’s painful. I try to ignore most of these thoughts by singing along. But the memory crowds in and begins to block out … [Read more...] about Singing to Music As I Drive Gives Me Too Much Time to Think