Photo by Mert Talay on Unsplash Yet it turns out that depression and I have a bond that will entwine us for the rest of my life. And even though right now, my depression is on vacation, I know it is still with me. While I am not feeling like I am “up against the wall,” I know my depression is still there. It is getting very good at tossing unhelpful thinking my way. … [Read more...] about I Wasn’t Planning for My Depression to Be a Lifelong Companion
Now Back at The Gym, I Used Covid Instead of Depression for Why I Left
Depression told me it was an innocent slip, but I’m sure it was Freudian. I was sitting in the small office of my gym, re-registering. We were talking about getting back and without being asked, I volunteered that I had stopped because of Covid. This was true in a way, but it was not the real reason I stopped going. I stopped going to the gym because I had been in 5 East … [Read more...] about Now Back at The Gym, I Used Covid Instead of Depression for Why I Left
I Broke My New Year’s Resolution After Only 4 Days
Well, it was going to be my New Year’s resolution if I got around to making new year’s resolutions. For the past 6 weeks or so, I have been wondering why I was feeling so rushed. This led to my decision that I wasn’t setting aside any self-care time. Every day had become full of life’s needs, and I found myself gravitating towards everyone else’s needs. My resolution then … [Read more...] about I Broke My New Year’s Resolution After Only 4 Days
With Depression, Am I Ready To Tell the Truth to My Psychiatrist? – Part I
High-functioning depression, that’s me. I can fake it like the best of them. Hiding my true feelings is an art form for me. There are so many ways I can tell you “I’m fine, I'm excited, I’m darn glad to be here.” In some ways, this is always true. Being anywhere is always preferable to the alternative. But being myself in every situation is difficult. And letting … [Read more...] about With Depression, Am I Ready To Tell the Truth to My Psychiatrist? – Part I
“Those Thoughts,” Are They My Suicidal Ideation?
I have been afraid to write about this subject. While people who have suicidal ideation will get it, the vast majority of people do not understand this or are afraid to talk about it. For 43+ years, I was afraid of getting anywhere near the subject. It turns out, I have a major depressive disorder, with suicidal ideation. My suicidal thoughts are not an everyday … [Read more...] about “Those Thoughts,” Are They My Suicidal Ideation?