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SAD

Maybe I’m Just Focused and My Depression Doesn’t Know?

February 15, 2024 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

In the grand scheme of things, it will make little difference if I am focused.But to me, being focused is a step closer to happy. I am in the green zone today. I am not happy, but I am close. If I am Focused, I could be Ready, too. The green zone consists of:All these feelings are not something I can share with my depression.I know my depression is smart enough to … [Read more...] about Maybe I’m Just Focused and My Depression Doesn’t Know?

Should I Be Anxious About How I am Using My SAD Light?

January 19, 2024 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Photo by Jez Timms on Unsplash For me and my depression, having a bright SAD light in the winter makes sense.But over the past couple of years, my intentions are better than my reality. When I am not in front of the SAD light, I can think about how effective it was the first year I used it. But sit at my desk, in my home office, and I cannot think to turn it on. And it is right … [Read more...] about Should I Be Anxious About How I am Using My SAD Light?

My Trying LED Light Therapy Is Making Depression Mad

December 27, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss 2 Comments

Why is depression mad that I am trying light therapy to reduce the winter blues?

My psychiatrist mentioned light therapy for SAD during my last medication management session.This year I realized back in early November that the days were getting markedly shorter. By 5 PM, if it was overcast outside, the sky was almost black. And the days just before Winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, seemed exceedingly devoid of light.Now we are 6 days on the … [Read more...] about My Trying LED Light Therapy Is Making Depression Mad

Depression Is Sad I Am Looking Forward to Christmas

December 20, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Depression is sad that I am looking forward to the holidays instead of letting depression decide how I will feel

This year, I am in control of how I view Christmas.When depression is in charge, I have given over to it my ability to choose how I feel. During these times, I have let depression tell me how I should feel. And then I go along with that very obediently. I do not want to upset depression and it makes sure that I know that.Depression wants me to be secretive and not share with … [Read more...] about Depression Is Sad I Am Looking Forward to Christmas

Today I wish I were sad

December 11, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

The stages of recovery from depression

That would be a step up from where I am right now.The harder I work on my recovery, the further behind I feel. Now part of this may be the time of year. I know about S.A.D. and what happens when you do not get enough sunlight. This could certainly be a factor in how I feel. But why is it, particularly when I am taking the SMART Training classes and learning so many new skills, … [Read more...] about Today I wish I were sad

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Joel Natl Career Fair Bio Pic he's using for my concealed depressionHello, I am Joel Quas 

In April 2019, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. By writing things out, I am learning more about my relationship with depression. 

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