In the grand scheme of things, it will make little difference if I am focused. But to me, being focused is a step closer to happy. I am in the green zone today. I am not happy, but I am close. If I am Focused, I could be Ready, too. The green zone consists of: All these feelings are not something I can share with my depression. I know my depression is smart … [Read more...] about Maybe I’m Just Focused and My Depression Doesn’t Know?
SAD
Should I Be Anxious About How I am Using My SAD Light?
Photo by Jez Timms on Unsplash For me and my depression, having a bright SAD light in the winter makes sense. But over the past couple of years, my intentions are better than my reality. When I am not in front of the SAD light, I can think about how effective it was the first year I used it. But sit at my desk, in my home office, and I cannot think to turn it on. And it … [Read more...] about Should I Be Anxious About How I am Using My SAD Light?
My Trying LED Light Therapy Is Making Depression Mad
My psychiatrist mentioned light therapy for SAD during my last medication management session. This year I realized back in early November that the days were getting markedly shorter. By 5 PM, if it was overcast outside, the sky was almost black. And the days just before Winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, seemed exceedingly devoid of light. Now we are 6 days on … [Read more...] about My Trying LED Light Therapy Is Making Depression Mad
Depression Is Sad I Am Looking Forward to Christmas
This year, I am in control of how I view Christmas. When depression is in charge, I have given over to it my ability to choose how I feel. During these times, I have let depression tell me how I should feel. And then I go along with that very obediently. I do not want to upset depression and it makes sure that I know that. Depression wants me to be secretive and not share … [Read more...] about Depression Is Sad I Am Looking Forward to Christmas
Today I wish I were sad
That would be a step up from where I am right now. The harder I work on my recovery, the further behind I feel. Now part of this may be the time of year. I know about S.A.D. and what happens when you do not get enough sunlight. This could certainly be a factor in how I feel. But why is it, particularly when I am taking the SMART Training classes and learning so many … [Read more...] about Today I wish I were sad
