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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

End Child Anxiety

suicidal thoughts

Having Survivor’s Guilt About Depression, Is It OK To Feel OK?

August 26, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I worry abour survivors guilt and wonder if it is OK to Feel OK?

Suddenly, I am back to thinking about survivor’s guilt. Having survived my hospitalization for Major Depressive Disorder, I am moving forward. Using the tools I discovered over the past 28 months, I am finding myself equipped to address depression’s ideas. And depression still has ideas. It wants me to come out and play. It misses our time together. Depression has had to … [Read more...] about Having Survivor’s Guilt About Depression, Is It OK To Feel OK?

Why Is Depression Having Me Think the S-Word Again?

July 27, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Why Is Depression Having Me Think The S-Word?

It has been months since it I've had a sucicidal thought. And while I know that I am not circling the drain, it is still a bit unnerving to have a suicidal thought flash in my head. Things have really been going well. I am healthy and am finally beginning to shed some of my Covid pounds. There have been many positive occasions in the past few months. A wedding, a first … [Read more...] about Why Is Depression Having Me Think the S-Word Again?

Two Years Later, My Depression Has Lifted

April 22, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

Two years after my hospitalization for MDD, I have A wellness recovery action plan

Today, I am alive and thriving. However, I know that: Depression in the United States… Affects over 18 million adults (one in ten) in any given year.3Is the leading cause of disability for ages 15-44.4Is the primary reason why someone dies of suicide about every 12 minutes. – over 41,000 people a year.5In comparison: homicide claims less than 16,000 lives each year, … [Read more...] about Two Years Later, My Depression Has Lifted

Pure Joy With Depression? It Makes Me Feel Good All Over

March 20, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Pure joy with depression? I am finally feeling good about myslef

I admitted that I was feeling good to my Psychiatrist on Wednesday. My 3-month medicine management appointment was first thing in the morning. I was early, as usual, and I caught up on my email using my phone while waiting for my doctor. My Psychiatrist was happy to see me. She told me that when she checked her appointments last night, she was thrilled to see I was her … [Read more...] about Pure Joy With Depression? It Makes Me Feel Good All Over

Sensational Ways Depression Sometimes Wins

February 2, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Some days, there is no fairy tale ending. I wish it weren’t so. But depression and I are locked in a tug of war. Sometimes I can pull harder. And often depression pulls the hardest. Depression and I have been engaged in this tug of war for over 40 years. You would think I would understand the way it works by now. And the more tools I collect to deal with depression, the … [Read more...] about Sensational Ways Depression Sometimes Wins

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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  • I Feel So Guilty for Not Doing More Today
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  • I’m Gaining Weight – Can I Blame My Depression?
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  • Why Am I Having Trouble Getting Out of Bed Again?

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