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Depression Won’t Let Me Make the Call

April 11, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I'm afraid to call my peer support and depression is making me feel guilty and ashamed for not being strong enough to make the call.

I haven’t spoken to my peer support contact in over 2 weeks. In fact, I have been ignoring her calls, letting them go to voice mail. It’s not that I do not want to talk to her. She has been one of my most ardent supporters for the past three years. Her observations have helped me understand my medication choices. And she has given me the confidence to speak up for … [Read more...] about Depression Won’t Let Me Make the Call

Once Again It’s Bye to Prozac & Hello to More Wellbutrin

December 5, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

switching away from prozac to a higher dose of Wellbutrin XL is a way to help me get out of bed without depression getting involved

I can’t believe I did not remember how Prozac made me sluggish and dull in the mornings. Two months ago, I was almost 90% successful at leading a balanced life with depression. This was a huge achievement for me. The past 2 ½ years had not all been like that. In fact, much of it was at 50%, 40%, or even 7% in terms of balance in my life. And the depression that finally … [Read more...] about Once Again It’s Bye to Prozac & Hello to More Wellbutrin

Depression Has Left Me a “Deer in Headlights” Again

November 9, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

Depression has left me a deer in headlights again with no time for self-care

I want to decide, but I feel frozen instead. There are things I can do right now that would address getting out of bed in the morning. But somehow, all I can muster is my “being OK” act. My high-functioning depression kicks in when I must get out of bed. This morning is a perfect example. I had gone to bed just before 10 PM. Eight hours later would be 6 AM. At 6:30 AM, … [Read more...] about Depression Has Left Me a “Deer in Headlights” Again

Today I Am Thankful for Being Alive

October 21, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I am thankful that I have learned about depression and can see unhelpful thinking before it has me circling the drain

It has been a wonderful two weeks. I spent time with my family and recharged my batteries. Having a week to bond with my grandson is something I am so very thankful for. The pandemic has limited our time together. However, since June, I have seen him on three occasions. Each visit was a few days to a week. I feel so blessed to get to spend time in person with him. Of … [Read more...] about Today I Am Thankful for Being Alive

Now’s the Time for a Doctor’s Appointment

December 14, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

My Doctor's appointment for medication management keeps me balanced and able to experience core emotions.

This time, it is for medication management. My Psychiatrist works at a teaching hospital. So, I see her each visit and often I see a new student, too. My Psychiatrist asks if I mind them being a part of my session. She always asks me in the waiting room or in the hall leading to her office. She never asks me in front of the student. I appreciate that.  I always say that … [Read more...] about Now’s the Time for a Doctor’s Appointment

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder. As I meet others with mental illness, they often tell me they feel alone.

With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to let others know you are not alone. Others are going through the same things.

And I write to share what I am learning so you and I can lead a balanced life.

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I write to understand my depression and thereby lead a balanced life.

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Even as I have MDD or concealed depression, I am wondering what makes me the happiest

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