The afterglow of having family at our home has faded, along with the strength of my Wellbutrin. It was me that brought up reducing my daily dosage when I last met with my psychiatrist. I cited how warm and lighter the winter had been so far and that I had not needed to get out my daylight box. Plus, having gone to Africa, the winter had been broken into pre and post-trek to … [Read more...] about Was Reducing My Wellbutrin a Good Idea? – Part 2
It wasn’t that I didn’t have an appointment. And it wasn’t for inattention on my part. Or at least it felt that way to me. I called my employer's Care network. And I answered all their questions. They wanted to know if I preferred a male or a female therapist. I explained that I have worked with both. All I want is someone who I can talk with and possibly connect … [Read more...] about Was it Depression’s Fault I Did Not Meet My New Therapist Last Night?
Last night I had a virtual therapy appointment. I remember my therapist had asked a question and I was responding. It was my side of the story I was relating. Not just the facts or my feelings about it, but I was defending my actions. My decision and why I made it was a source of pride I suppose. My therapist stopped me and said, “I hear rationalization.” He had caught … [Read more...] about My Psychiatrist Asked Me, “When Is Enough, Enough”?
For some reason, I envisioned a breakthrough session last night. By the end of the zoom meeting, I thought all my cares would be lifted and I would have found a nugget of truth I could work with until the next session. My anticipation of our first meeting under the new framework was hard to contain. After all, we had done some great work together. It was February 5th when … [Read more...] about Getting Back to Therapy Wasn’t What I Expected
I see eyes and a mouth ready to eat me if I get too close. That’s what I see as I sit in my therapist’s office waiting for my appointment. Maybe I watched too many cartoons as a child. I see the raised couch cushion forming an upper lip, while the frame underneath becomes the bottom of the mouth. And the tops of the sofa arms, become eyes. But if I go over, all I will … [Read more...] about What You See May Not Be What You Get