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Turnaround

therapy

Was Reducing My Wellbutrin a Good Idea? – Part 2

March 9, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Wellbutrin medication I am changing doses from 450 mg. to 300 mg

The afterglow of having family at our home has faded, along with the strength of my Wellbutrin. It was me that brought up reducing my daily dosage when I last met with my psychiatrist. I cited how warm and lighter the winter had been so far and that I had not needed to get out my daylight box. Plus, having gone to Africa, the winter had been broken into pre and post-trek to … [Read more...] about Was Reducing My Wellbutrin a Good Idea? – Part 2

Was it Depression’s Fault I Did Not Meet My New Therapist Last Night?

March 7, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Did depression keep me from my therapist appointment?

It wasn’t that I didn’t have an appointment. And it wasn’t for inattention on my part. Or at least it felt that way to me. I called my employer's Care network. And I answered all their questions. They wanted to know if I preferred a male or a female therapist. I explained that I have worked with both. All I want is someone who I can talk with and possibly connect … [Read more...] about Was it Depression’s Fault I Did Not Meet My New Therapist Last Night?

My Psychiatrist Asked Me, “When Is Enough, Enough”?

September 28, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

My psychiatris asked me, when is enough, enough?

Last night I had a virtual therapy appointment. I remember my therapist had asked a question and I was responding. It was my side of the story I was relating. Not just the facts or my feelings about it, but I was defending my actions. My decision and why I made it was a source of pride I suppose. My therapist stopped me and said, “I hear rationalization.” He had caught … [Read more...] about My Psychiatrist Asked Me, “When Is Enough, Enough”?

Getting Back to Therapy Wasn’t What I Expected

September 14, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I expected more from my first session with my therapist, but received an intake interview

For some reason, I envisioned a breakthrough session last night. By the end of the zoom meeting, I thought all my cares would be lifted and I would have found a nugget of truth I could work with until the next session. My anticipation of our first meeting under the new framework was hard to contain. After all, we had done some great work together. It was February 5th when … [Read more...] about Getting Back to Therapy Wasn’t What I Expected

What You See May Not Be What You Get

August 13, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

What you see with depression is not what you always get

I see eyes and a mouth ready to eat me if I get too close. That’s what I see as I sit in my therapist’s office waiting for my appointment. Maybe I watched too many cartoons as a child. I see the raised couch cushion forming an upper lip, while the frame underneath becomes the bottom of the mouth. And the tops of the sofa arms, become eyes. But if I go over, all I will … [Read more...] about What You See May Not Be What You Get

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder. As I meet others with mental illness, they often tell me they feel alone.

With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to let others know you are not alone. Others are going through the same things.

And I write to share what I am learning so you and I can lead a balanced life.

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I write to understand my depression and thereby lead a balanced life.

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Even as I have MDD or concealed depression, I am wondering what makes me the happiest

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