Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash Even when things are going pretty well, I sense my depression hanging around. It’s not badgering me. I don’t feel my depression watching my every move. Heck, it’s not visible at all right now. But still, I know it is there, ready to jump in at a moment’s … [Read more...] about My Depression Never Quits
unhelpful thinking styles
It’s Clear That My Depression Loves Me
IPhoto by Nick Fewings on Unsplash I was awake in the middle of the night recently, and my depression wanted to talk. It was sharing ideas with me about our future together. Depression was pleased that I was still alive. If I ended my life, depression would lose a cooperative host. And that wasn’t good for either of us. How could it keep needling at me if I wasn’t … [Read more...] about It’s Clear That My Depression Loves Me
I Don’t Know Why I Am Still Trying
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash Making forward progress feels like it’s not a thing right now. Today, keeping my head above water is my primary goal. The process of moving forward seems labored and just outside of my grasp. This morning, I am wondering how I managed to fake it for so long. There’s no way I have really been getting things done. Any visible forward … [Read more...] about I Don’t Know Why I Am Still Trying
What In the World?
Photo by Daniel Schludi on Unsplash Because my mom Is 97 and has covid, I’m feeling a lot of stress. It is clear that I am not clear about what is next, or what I should be doing next. As her POA, I have been paying her bills for years. And I have developed a close relationship with the financial group that handles her investments. It is easy to know when bills are due. I … [Read more...] about What In the World?
Is Depression Getting Me Close While Keeping Me Far Away?
Photo by USGS on Unsplash Excuse me for saying this. More than once, despite my depression, I have been on the edge of greatness. I have even stepped into the winner's circle a few times in my life. There is the warmth of that glow and the admiration of the crowd that can get a person almost giddy. And the positive endorphins go wild. Taking the gold is what I am always … [Read more...] about Is Depression Getting Me Close While Keeping Me Far Away?
