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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

End Child Anxiety

feeling guilty

My Self-Care is Really a To-Do List, Is That OK?

August 28, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

my self-care is really a to-do list, is that OK?

Like many who are employed by corporations, my day job includes working five days a week. This leaves two days for bigger, at-home, time-consuming projects. I spent last week's days off power washing the deck. Now this week, I spent my first day off staining parts of that same deck. The lower area is 16' X 32”’. And the upper is 8’ X 32’. And there are stairs from the upper … [Read more...] about My Self-Care is Really a To-Do List, Is That OK?

The Real Truth About Depression and My Survivors Guilt

November 10, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

I feel guilt and shame for surviving depression while others have committed suicide

Some days I need to remind myself that I have depression. But most days, I know that depression and I have a lifelong connection. As I move further away from my time in the hospital, I am beginning to feel guilty for being alive. The better things are going in my life, the more I feel guilty. After all there are many people in much worse shape than I ever was, even as I … [Read more...] about The Real Truth About Depression and My Survivors Guilt

Now I Can Practise Self-care Without Feeling Guilty

August 16, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

It is Sunday morning, and time for self-care. The sky is overcast, and the air is damp. It is almost chilly this morning.  This is a far cry from the past month, where daily temperatures have been in the 90’s and the heat index has topped 100 degrees. Drought conditions where beginning to show themselves. Everything was turning brown and crisp. Even our lake had … [Read more...] about Now I Can Practise Self-care Without Feeling Guilty

Everybody Expects Something of Me, Even the Birds

June 25, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Everybody wants something from me

If I sit on the porch in the morning and don’t put the bird feeders out right away, the birds land on the empty frame and stare at me, waiting to be fed. Now I understand that I am projecting emotions for them when I tell you they are looking at me and saying, “put the feeders out already.” The birds have been coming to these feeders for four years. They know I bring them in … [Read more...] about Everybody Expects Something of Me, Even the Birds

Why Am I Pulling Back into My Shell?

May 28, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

I protect myself from feeling with unhelpful thinking

Just because you called me, I don’t have to pick up the phone. Or why do you assume I will open the letter, just because you thought it was important enough to send? I see the letter you sent me; it is on my desk where I keep all my new correspondence. But receiving it and doing something with it are two different things. Your needs are not the same as my needs. In a … [Read more...] about Why Am I Pulling Back into My Shell?

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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  • I Feel So Guilty for Not Doing More Today
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  • I’m Gaining Weight – Can I Blame My Depression?
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  • Why Am I Having Trouble Getting Out of Bed Again?

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