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You are here: Home / Featured Home / A new month, a new outlook – Parts 1 and 2

A new month, a new outlook – Parts 1 and 2

March 1, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

It could be the start of something new.

It could also be the continuation of the same old thing. What really matters, is how I think about it. How do I frame the things I can control? If I am focused and thoughtful, I can make this a great month.

That’s not to say that bad, or sad, or unpleasant things will not happen.

What it means is that I will take control over what I can control. That control is not always the event itself. But it is always how I think about the events! This is where I can make a huge difference.

How I think about the events in my life make all the difference in how I feel about them and then, how I handle them.

For example, I was behind a lumber delivery tractor-trailer yesterday. I saw it pulling out from a mile down the road. My first reaction was “here we go again, I’m stuck behind a slow-moving oversized lumber truck and I will be going 10 mph for the next 20 miles.”

Then I said, “wait.” That’s an unhelpful, catastrophizing, maximize the bad side way of looking at this.

So, instead of turning into road rage, I said: “this may add a few minutes to my commute, but I have allowed plenty of time and I will still get to work in plenty of time.” Case closed! I was fine and realized that as I approached where the truck had pulled out.

And the truck was already speeding down the two-lane road ahead of me.

The driver got to a cruising speed of 5 miles over the speed limit and never let up. Instead of getting behind a tortoise, I was keeping up with the hare, who was outpacing the pack. It turned out I never was “stuck” behind a slow-moving lumber truck.

Attitude is everything. And the only thing.

READ MORE: Guess what happened when I changed my attitude?

No doubt you will hear me whine and complain over the next 30 days about life. But in the end, I am determined to always come back to “how do I think about this?” If I can control what I can control, it will be a good month. March will be in like a lion, out like a lamb.

_______________________________________________________________

A new month, a new outlook – Part II

” I thought I was being positive.”

As I prepare to publish my blog posts (journal entries), Grammarly lets me know how the text “feels.”

It has always been fairly accurate: positive, humourous, professional, etc. Today it is suggesting what I wrote feels “SAD.” That makes me feel sad. Because this was not what I thought I was projecting.

In my mind, there was hope for the future.

But what I wrote seems sad. Not succumbing to road rage, I felt it was a very positive thing. Understanding that I can control my thoughts about events as they occur I feel is very positive. So why am I writing in a “sad” voice?

Maybe today is just an off day?

I am off from my day job. Getting stuff on my list done has been positive. Having time to chat and catch up has been marvelous. Plus, I am digging the post hole and setting up my Purple Martin birdhouse in a few minutes. Once the birds begin making their homes in it, I have 24 rooms, the yard will be less full of mosquitos.

Now I am re-reading what I wrote earlier this morning and what I am writing now.

CONFIDENCE is now listed too as a mood. That is more positive than just sad, so I will take that. Understanding that “it’s not how I say it, it’s how others hear it (including Grammarly)” that makes it true for the listener.

So my intention was to write a positive piece about the coming month, and it was judged as sad. Looks like I still have some tools to learn more about. Not recognizing the work I still have to do to lead a balanced life with depression, NOW THAT’S SAD!

And now I have added gloomy to the list of how my text sounds. I’d better stop here before Grammarly detects a sarcastic tone as I tell it what I think.

READ MORE: New thinking is helping me achieve balance in my life

My concealed depression is written under the alias “Depression is not my boss.” I have certifications in SMART Recovery and am a Global Career Development Facilitator.

Last year, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder.

Filed Under: Featured Home, The cost of success, Unhelpful thinking, What depression has cost me

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder. As I meet others with mental illness, they often tell me they feel alone.

With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to let others know you are not alone. Others are going through the same things.

And I write to share what I am learning so you and I can lead a balanced life.

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