I know I should be happy to be alive. Just getting out of bed each morning is an accomplishment. When you think about how life manifests itself, most life just is. Look at lichens and moss. They have hung around for billions of years in pretty much the same state as we see them today. Now if you try to clean moss off something, it is hard as hell to do. And most times, … [Read more...] about When will the fun start?
Archives for November 2019
Testing 1,2,3. Checking in to see if I am OK
Sometimes, I just need to check in with myself. Well, ever since I acknowledged that I have had depression for the past 43 years, I have felt the need to check in with myself, to see what is going on. My goal is to keep depression out in the open, where I can keep an eye on it. Doing this makes depression very uncomfortable, which is comforting to me. When I don’t, … [Read more...] about Testing 1,2,3. Checking in to see if I am OK
I’m afraid I don’t know what I’m afraid of
One thing is for sure, I am afraid of dying. Even as I was driving to the emergency room this spring, my deepest fear was that I was more terrified of death than I was seeking professional help. And believe me, I was scared shitless about going to the hospital. After all, I was the guy who always won. The guy who, at the last minute, figured a way out of the situation … [Read more...] about I’m afraid I don’t know what I’m afraid of
Can I Tell You the Truth?
Today, I don’t feel like writing. However, I feel I need to write. This is how I am working out my relationship with depression. Through these blog posts, I am creating a balanced life for myself. So, on a day where I do not feel like writing, I also feel guilt. Why shouldn’t I just suck it up and write? After all, that is what I said I was going to do. My plan has … [Read more...] about Can I Tell You the Truth?
Where is the Proof That “I Am Not Enough?”
Why do I feel "I am NOT enough?" All I need is one more certification and then I can really be effective in my side business. Once I achieve my goal of going to the gym 5 times a week, then life will be fine. When I have X number of dollars a month coming in, then everything will be great. All I need is a title, then I am somebody. Sitting on the front porch, drinking … [Read more...] about Where is the Proof That “I Am Not Enough?”