My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

I’m So Tired of My Depression

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Projecting a positive, can-do attitude some days takes all the energy I have. And I am beginning to feel overwhelmed by the demands I am placing on myself. Once again, no one is forcing me to behave a certain way. I am free to live my life using my internal compass. Knowingly, I relinquish some of that freedom as a partner in marriage. Doing the right thing as a marriage … [Read more...] about I’m So Tired of My Depression

Unhelpful Thinking Says There’s No Time, Not Even For Self-care

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The recycling must be taken for pick up tomorrow and the trash must go to the landfill. There is no publicly funded trash or recycling pick-up in the rural community we live in. If you want trash pickup at your home, you must pay a company to come and get it. Cardboard and aluminum cans can still be recycled at the landfill. Plastics, glass, and everything else is no longer … [Read more...] about Unhelpful Thinking Says There’s No Time, Not Even For Self-care

What Am I Worried About, It’s Just the World?

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I am all over the place today, but If you read to the end, I finally get out what I’m thinking.Authors Note Our heatwave on the east coast is mild compared to the temperatures recorded on the west coast. And we have been spared raging wildfires like the ones consuming thousand and thousands of acres in the northwest. A few days of afternoon thunderstorms, … [Read more...] about What Am I Worried About, It’s Just the World?

A Decision To Control My Attitude With 101 Coping Statements For Depression And Anxiety

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Being in control is important to me. I think most people seek this in some fashion. Even the most depressed and anxious people have their limits. And I know there are lines I will not cross. Sometimes I learn where these lines are when I explode. Tamping down my responses, I am a powder keg ready to explode. I pack more and more emotions into this vessel, in my attempts … [Read more...] about A Decision To Control My Attitude With 101 Coping Statements For Depression And Anxiety

What happened to “fake it ‘til you make it?”

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I’m stuck in the doldrums again. Maybe it’s the fact that it is August and things are just hot. People are in vacation mode after missing last year due to the Pandemic. Everyone is getting cabin fever and is doing things to escape the house.  In June, we got out of town and visited family for the first time in more than a … [Read more...] about What happened to “fake it ‘til you make it?”