I’m not 100% sure I would be alive if I hadn’t found these powerful organizations. When I was admitted to the hospital last spring, I was seeing zero hope. Nothing. I was up against the wall, smashed as tightly as possible and I could not see anything. There was an empty place in my heart where hope had been, but it was not there that day. Heck, I hadn’t seen hope in … [Read more...] about How I Use Mental Health Programs to Avoid Circling the Drain
SMART - Self Management And Recovery Training
What Does Your Depression Look Like? Mine Has Three Feelings.
My depression is a classic textbook hopelessness. Not the passing, “oh, I will never pass this exam,” or the “why didn’t I get the job?” While I have had many similar thoughts over my lifetime, these would only last a few days. I would get over it and move on. This feeling of hopelessness, in moderation, is a normal part of life. We all have disappointments and situations we … [Read more...] about What Does Your Depression Look Like? Mine Has Three Feelings.
That “Hard to Get Started in the Morning Feeling” is Back – Doing the Drugs Part VII
Doing the drugs, lately, I have been hoping that the "hard to get started in the morning feeling" will go away. I know when that hard to get started in the morning feeling is back, something is amiss. One or two days is not the end of the world. I had one day several weeks ago, but I know I had done quite a bit of work around the property. And the daytime temperature was … [Read more...] about That “Hard to Get Started in the Morning Feeling” is Back – Doing the Drugs Part VII
Why Am I Choosing Numb Instead of Real Feelings?
Is it my medication or am I not brave enough to explore my feelings? With 44+ years of practice, I am exceptionally good at feeling numb and blocking out my feelings. Listening to an EBT audiobook on the way to work the other day, the author said some people are overly emotional and in touch with their feelings. Others suppress their feelings and emotions like a bottle of … [Read more...] about Why Am I Choosing Numb Instead of Real Feelings?
After Getting Help for Myself, I Can Now Share with Others
Asking for professional medical help was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I started writing the morning after I was released from the hospital. In 5 North, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, with suicidal ideation. Feeling up against the wall, seeking professional medical advice was the least hard of the three choices I felt I had. Choice #1 was to … [Read more...] about After Getting Help for Myself, I Can Now Share with Others