My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan)

I cannot get it back

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I am so angry this morning. I cannot believe some of the decisions I have made in the past 43 years. It is infuriating to think that I have thrown away different opportunities that would have made significant changes in my life. My plan as I write this is to be mad at depression for the decisions I made along the way. But I was the one who took the action or failed … [Read more...] about I cannot get it back

Can you see the obvious?

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Who would think you would need spell check for a four-word truck sign? On my way to work yesterday, I ended up behind a tandem dump truck.  No big deal, except I would rather be behind a vehicle I can see over, around or through. This helps me feel more confident as I drive. But in heavy traffic, I can make it work. As we got to a traffic light, I really looked at … [Read more...] about Can you see the obvious?

Maybe the change in barometric pressure has me feeling down

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I cannot put my finger on it. Today has been blah. Not overly bad, not overly good, just blah. My to-do list was long. The self-care part for me was to be outside, on the front porch, drinking my coffee, no cell phone, no laptop, just me and nature. That part of the day was relaxing. After that, I worked my list.  I did manage to get the trash and recycling to … [Read more...] about Maybe the change in barometric pressure has me feeling down

My new idea in my relationship with depression

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Recently, I was up against the wall. 100 or so days ago, I was sure that I had no way forward; I could not even see that there was a way. It was pitch black, or worse, colorless, and my life was emotionless, too. I was going through the motions, not appreciating or enjoying anything. Just before I checked into the hospital, I was forcing myself to eat. I dropped 12 … [Read more...] about My new idea in my relationship with depression