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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

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You are here: Home / Featured Home / I didn’t think I would be digging an animal grave today

I didn’t think I would be digging an animal grave today

December 4, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

This isn’t the first animal I have buried.

But it is the first since my acknowledgement of depression. This new perspective on life makes the process very personal. I feel so bad for my family. And having lived with the cat for several years, the sadness at our loss is overwhelming.

Kidney failure is a messy business, even for a cat.

To be fine today, then stricken the next day must be very confusing. On top of that, cats cannot talk, so he shows his distress in other ways. And the Veterinarians have done all they can do. Even they are expressing their sadness at his condition and the choices that we face.

Death is a part of life.

Yet I always think it happens to others, never in my family. But I know that is not true.  Every family faces death at some point. I have buried many relatives over the past 50 years. And a few pets as well.

In fact, as a child, our gray cat was found dead on the side of the road, after being hit by a car. We gathered the family together, dug a hole and said a few words. As we walked up the hill and back to the house, we found our “real” cat had been asleep on my parents’ bed. We had buried a stranger’s cat who happened to look just like our cat.

Making the decision to end an animal’s life is never easy.

But when they are suffering, their prognosis is bad and their quality of life is deteriorating, it is the kindest thing we can do. Loving someone (the cat) enough to let it go is not easy. There has been a lot of crying already. And the day is not over.

Wishing this was not happening to a pet I love is, I believe, understandable.

There are so many things shooting through my mind as I come to terms with this. There have always been cats around in the houses and apartments where I have lived. Starting from early childhood, I remember different cats we had. I had to wait to own dogs until I was on my own.

I’ve buried a few dogs, too.

Courage is the order of the day. Sadness is inevitable when your pet is put down by a licensed Veterinarian. I must remember that the cat is no longer suffering and in a better place.

Have you lost an animal?

READ: I killed a painted turtle

Filed Under: Featured Home, What depression has cost me Tagged With: anxiety, cats, depression, dogs, kidney failure, unhealthy thinking styles

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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