You won’t believe what the depression has put in my head. “I will never fly in an airplane again.†“I will never go camping.†“I will never have a healthy relationship with myself or with others.†Depression makes it easy to think all or nothing. In the hospital, … [Read more...] about Can I tell you what I am thinking?
anxiety
Is normalcy my new normal?
I don’t want to jinx it. As I build my life with the depression, I know the path is not straight. Yet for most of this past week, I have felt human. I have felt almost in control. I have felt a lot like me. That is exciting and frightening at the same time. I know that in the past I have had days, months, even years without any visible signs of depression. … [Read more...] about Is normalcy my new normal?
How will I know depression is coming again?
How can I stay out of the depths of despair? How can I recognize what’s going on in my head before I become obsessed with one idea, one thought, one depression guided way of thinking? I think the first thing is to acknowledge that I have depression. “But it doesn’t have me.†I am doing that every day. I am … [Read more...] about How will I know depression is coming again?
You Won’t Believe what I Wrote to Myself
“I am writing because you are enough.†This is the first line of the card I wrote to myself when I was in the hospital. I wrote this to myself over a month ago. The pastor who provided the cards mailed it four weeks later. I waited four days after getting the card before opening it. When I first took the envelope out of the mailbox, I did … [Read more...] about You Won’t Believe what I Wrote to Myself
It’s so depressing. Why am I still reading it?
I was loaned a copy of “I don’t want to talk about it.†It was written by Terrence Real. I have read more than half of the book now. And I am drawn like a moth to the flame.  I am getting burned, but I can’t stop reading. I feel like the book is telling me that there is a lot of pain I need to … [Read more...] about It’s so depressing. Why am I still reading it?
